Grown Up: Part IV "Hope"

“What’s it like being a grown-up?”

A question that still awaits an answer, but will remain unanswered.

Because when exactly in life do we stop growing, growing that extends beyond physical growth?

Up till this point when my foot next hits the floor, it’s hard to know what’s next in store,

but “growing up” so far has given me some presents, other stories, other warnings, but more importantly, given me some lessons.

Responsibility is heavy, worn like a shield to be held

tightly against one’s body, with accountability, reliably protecting other bodies

of truth; it should not be an option for promises to be withheld.

Patience is a virtue—patience to yourself and patience for others.

In an age so virtual, it hurts to know, socials have caused our attention spans

to exponentially shrink,

no time or commitment to think,

and so our patience goes with it, hand in hand.

Therefore, patience is precious, patience is a jewel

to be invested particularly in those you hold most dear, hold out Patience like an olive branch to branch over differences you may share

with those who you’ll most fear

to lose. To take them for granted is a mistake so incredibly severe.

Pain and heartache are other gifts given.

To slowly feel the core of your chest suddenly rise with an inner melancholy so profound—

a rollercoaster gone wrong. A deserted battleground. A deep and abrupt spur of emotions difficult to expound

on what exactly is wrong.

Why does my pulse feel so irregular, as if tethered to and dragged by something heavier?

Why do I feel dazed, helplessly trapped in helix nebula, head in outer-space without any space, claustrophobia from overwhelming emotions, that I don’t know where to place?

Why are there tributaries running down either side of my face, rivers of mourning from the source of my heart as I lie awake, getting myself into such a state, before I’ve even lost anything I can’t replace?

But from the agonising blues, we rise stronger, personal breakthroughs, mastering the art of claiming back from the ultramarine seas, our self-worth, courage and dignity.

Love grows like a rose,

but grown-ups may see love in a different way.

Love for some, arose from the shadows, something they had hoped to erode,

for it reminded them of the rose-thorns of poison a past loved-one had driven close

to their heart, where it mattered the most.

Love also teaches things like sacrifice, compromise,

to use your ears and your eyes to really understand and attentively surmise

your loved one's wants, their needs, their values, their creed,

their visions, aspirations, and your loved one's dreams.

Love grows like a rose,

and alongside it, you grow.

Evolving into a supposed “grown-up” has definitely shone a light on

how important it is to protect, from dusk to dawn,

the child sitting cross-legged in your soul, holding a torchlight, switched on

against the demons and the pessimists;

the saboteurs and the monsters;

those who snatch and catch dreams, then crush them with heartless sentiments;

those who seek to spit hellfire with words, take unjustly and conquer.

For that child is a precious whole, something people who’ve fully grown ironically are often not.

Protect that child-like spirit with a fierce conviction,

strong like a flaming asteroid, trailblazing, ignition.

Guard your heart.

Take courage,

Stand your ground

against the currents of life.

Child, dear love—your naïve, kaleidoscopic hope can be so rare; this hope is the air we breathe, the water we drink, the shelter we need.

Because without hope, my darling, how do we get up after falling?

How do we continue building our life’s armour, our body’s structure, our mind’s ability to grow and wander?

Without this invaluable thing called hope, how on earth are we expected to preserve the will to live?

Life, my dear, is never stagnant, though it may seem like it sometimes.

Time, my dear, is not patient nor compassionate; Time does not stop for anyone to adhere

to new obstacles, new troubles, new hurt, new scares- it only moves forth, pulling you with it into the infinite atmosphere.

That is why it’s integral we must persevere, even in times of heartbreak, great sorrow, pain and fear.

Continuing to steer

further into Time, where light will eventually reappear.

And that is why, child,

your hope has brought me this far,

full circle, right here.