The Mask

The mask

I didn't realize I had it on

I had to take it off, had to turn the fakin' off

And now- My real face is facing secrecy's fatal flaw

The reality of me drowning in an ocean of my own debris

There's a body at the bottom of this sea

The king of hide and seek-

Brought to his end by the fear he was swimming in

This is me

Hypocrisy is clear in the mirror that I'm starin' in

Just another victim of comparison

Just where has insecurity taken me?

Embarrassment's ache- I can't shake it off

And now- Annoyance with self-disgust is takin' off

My real eyes have realized the realest lie

A walking oxymoron balanced on the thinnest line

The difference between confidence and diffidence

Tell me- What's in the place of honesty's absence?

I'm asking for myself

I haven't been transparent and it's so apparent now

That the lack of self-acceptance leads this loop that I'm in living in

The broken record that I listen to keeps me trapped in the curse of Déjà Vu

This mask on mask off, here we go again with the on again off again

When apathy's on the rise the walls rise up again

Now I'm masked up again

Fake eyes look for crimes for me to be a witness in

Who's business am I in now?

I can't mind my own if I'm out of my own mind

My sin is fully grown now

Death is on his way now

I'll die in these walls if I don't find a way out

The stress is swellin' up I need to let it out

So forgive me as I vent through this poetry I care about

Rather rhyme than cry but am I oversharin' now?

This honesty with my mental whereabouts

The smoke has cleared now, resentment fills my minds atmosphere

The hatred smellin' foul I need to air it out

There's somethin' like a vein in what I write about

If it's all in vain then it's the bane of my existence that I'm writing out

The walls are coming down again, I'm coming out of hiding now

I was dying in my comfort zone

Also known as the dead zone, from which I was castin' stones

All of which came back to me

Can't hide my hand now, I call it karma's courtesy

Can I brag about what's hurtin' me?

Can I ask how you picture me?

Would it be different if you saw the worst of me?

Do broken crayons color different?

Mask on, mask off, who can tell the difference?

If my poker face is on at all times

Mask on, mask off, this is not the first offense

Resentments still present and without a limit to repentance

But the last time I took it off I said it'd be the last time I'd have it on

But here I am masked up again

The king of hide and seek is sitting on his throne again

What's in this place is what he's sown, this what he has to reap

Sitting in an empty palace cause he couldn't make the ends meet

What's behind the mask?

The real meaning of everything he's ever written

Thoughts pacing back and forth between what can't be read

What behind the mask?

A different world - without a limit on its minutes

His real face- again facing what dread exists within it