The little one

My whole entire life I wanted you.

I tried but it didn’t happen.

I thought something was wrong with me, I believed I it wouldn’t happen.

I was happy, in love, with the one person I never saw coming but fell for hard.

Then unexpectedly you were two little lines on a test.

I was terrified but oh so happy.

But as quickly as you came, there was something not right.

You silly little thing you found your nest in the wrong spot.

I had to let you go. The hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Unexpected but not unwanted.

I wonder if you would have had my eyes, and your dad’s beautiful hair.

It would have been hard. But you would have been so loved.

You would have been so beautiful, kind, intelligent, funny and probably very cunning.

There would’ve been a lot of people who would have loved you and protected you.

You would have had siblings that your dad is so proud of, he’s a good dad and a better man.

It makes me sad that I never got to feel you move and kick, never got to hear you cry or laugh. Never able to hold you in my arms.

You were everything I ever wanted, but didn’t quite become.

My little baby that almost was.