THE LIGHTHOUSE

Finally.

I have been waiting so long to tell my story.

It is so lonely here on the rocks by myself.

I mean, the sights I see.

Turbulent seas.

Ships, boats, rafts, surfers and sea life undulating in vicious

swirling waters.

Sailing on calm sunny days. Living life DIVINE.

Happy people going about their lives.

Kayaking. Sailing. Fishing. Swimming.

Children laughing and happy.

Lovers splashing and giggling.

Not giving me a glance, or when they do glance, they look right through me.

"Look at me, I am right here".

So lonely. So forlorn.

I try so hard to fit in. I never seem to fit.

My discomfort is misinterpreted by so many to mean

what I do not mean.

Someone thinks I am looking at their man because I have an interest.

No.

I am wondering if he thinks I am weird.

If everyone thinks I am weird. So uncomfortable in my skin.

Metaphor Lighthouse.

I am lost amidst a sea of people, swirling all around me.

Like the sea, afoam with anger, angry waves gnashing their teeth.

Calm waves undulating in the sunshine.

See me, rescue me. PLEASE.

But wait!. I see a ship on the horizon.

It has seen my light.

But Oh! It is being dashed by the waves.

It is fighting hard to steer a course for me.

No matter. It is getting closer. "I am here".

I scream silently. Waiting.

AAAAHHH! YES.

You found me. The sheer ecstasy.

My lights are swirling, twirling , oscillating, dancing. Shining.

Happy.

So, off the rocks I climb.

Into the beautiful dreamlike ship and we set sail.

He takes my hand. Hold on tight.

"I'm never letting go", he says.

"Hold my hand real tight", I say.

Here my metaphor ends and real life begins.

For a lighthouse shines it's light and brings everyone home

safely.

But then it is left all by itself. Always helping but not being helped.

Someone comes and makes sure the light will always shine.

Sometimes they stay a while.

Then leaves.

From lighthouse on a lonely rock to an adventure at sea.

We set sail for a small island not far off.

Murphy's law.

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

So we sail for real to the small beautiful island, lush in the sunshine,

birds singing, butterflies flitting happily, fruit trees laden down and small

friendly animals rustling in the bushes.

But berthed on the other side is a shady looking boat. We do not see it

until it is too late.

They are upon us. Guns out, pointing in my face, in our faces.

"Back up. Go all the way over there. Turn around".

I know we are dead for sure.

We hold tightly to each other's hands.

Praying silently.

Ten minutes pass by, seemed like forever.

The sound of our ship on the horizon leaving us behind.

Stranded, BUT ALIVE.

As hard as we try in life there will be setbacks.

It may be pirates, it may be a sudden death, you lose your house, your money, your job, your blooming sanity.

So we realize we are still alive on a beautiful, sunny, fruit filled island

with coconut trees.

Thank the stars for satellite phones. A call is made and rescue plans made.

But first, hours to explore and conquer the world or rather the island.

We learned to catch fish with our bare hands.

Shoes off, sand in our toes.

Built a fire, you know, rub two stones together, flint and stuff, roasted fish. Drank coconut water, which took a lot of bashing on the rocks to get them to drinkable stage.

Ate fruits, napped in the shade.

Explored past and present stories.

Getting to know you better things.

Made animal friends, they came visiting,

finding us strange and fascinating.

A few bees buzzed. Just as curious, but you guys sting, so keep your distance.

Despite setbacks, what a beautiful day and what a wonderful new experience not being the lighthouse on the rocks.

We run and frolic and bask in light and enjoy new company.

Ship is recovered, pirates caught is relayed over phone.

Coastguard, well done.

An adventure starting life renewed.

I am recounting this story in what I believe is my enhanced state of mind.

Not totally conscious but flitting like the butterfly.

So this is my butterfly foible.

But free as the birds.

Eccentric am I.

It makes total sense to me.

To Hearts of openness.