The first Wonder of this World

When the alien craft alighted

I did not stop to question.

I opened up my home to them,

I did not fear ingestion.

Though just one little chap emerged,

Long armed, with wide midsection,

I welcomed him with open arms,

And offered warm reception.

I was keen that he should recognise,

With my astute direction,

The best of all the things on earth,

And he gave no objection.

The bathroom was our first big stop,

I showed him my reflection,

“These eyes”, I said “Are just spot on,

Because I am perfection!

The lens inside, it has such strength,

That use for far inspection,

Requires wearing spectacles,

Some call it sight correction.”

He looked at me with one pink eye.

I took it as suggestion,

So on I went with lesson two,

“Desirable complexion”.

“My skin” I said, and moved his hand

For maximum sensation,

“Is lined to show how it can move!

Again, I am perfection!”

His skin was soft, I have to say,

And seemed, to my perception,

Quite lovely, like a rabbit’s ear,

Seems churlish not to mention.

Although his nose did not align

To humanoid convention,

“Cute” had clearly played a role

In natural selection.

My nose was large, as I announced,

With hairs in each direction,

“These nostril hairs” I told with pride,

“Help me ward off infection”.

We moved next to view my chin,

Whose natural inclination

To disappear into my neck

Assists in introspection.

Then I stripped bare and showed to him

My muscles in contraction.

“These bumps are signs of peace”, I said,

“And gentle interaction!

These loose skinned hands I show you now,

Are tools of great connection,

You’ll see they’re worn, from all the use,

Because I am perfection.”

I showed him how my nipples neared

My navel’s proud distention,

“A sign”, I said, “of wisdom’s growth,

And thoughtful inclination.”

Then at my flaccid arms we looked,

“These let me show affection,

By holding you with these I say,

‘You too are just perfection!’”

The tour was closed, and he returned

To his airborne invention.

I marvelled as I watched him go

At my advanced detection.

For I could see the alien race

Was, based on my inspection,

Quite perfect in most every way,

Beyond my expectation!

Then just when I had made a snack,

There came in my direction,

Six more beings from the craft,

A hideous collection!

Some tall, some thin, rough skin, five eyes,

Without an invitation,

They came into my living room,

Began a genuflection!

And I forgave my little friend

His act of misdirection,

And we agreed, from that day on,

We all can be perfection.