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The Elder Years

Truths from my Dears

By Denise E LindquistPublished 2 years ago • 2 min read
The Elder Years
Photo by Tatiana Zanon on Unsplash

One of my friends was married after she moved to assisted living (she is deceased now for many years).

She was taken off her medication that managed her bi-polar

She asked me to buy her a vibrator

and soon after she told me she was getting married to a very nice feller

Then I heard she wanted their beds pushed together.

~~~~

When talking to a friend who told me her husband, at 59 was unable to have sex (They have been separated for some time now, due to alcoholism)

I said that happens when people are heavy drinkers, smokers, or diabetic.

It damages nerves and blood vessels over time, and at times it is quick.

Two drinks for under 65, and one for over 65, and for some it's just a lick.

If you drink alcohol, it can happen as young as forty. That's sick.

~~~~

Photo by Ashkan Forouzani on Unsplash

When talking with a group of men at a halfway house, in the 80s, I told them...

What causes impotence? Diabetes, smoking or alcoholism it can stem

from any one or all of those things, which frequently go together from

what I hear. I told them many get their potency back it's a good outcome.

You have to quit smoking, stop drinking, and manage your diabetes some.

~~

Then I recommended they take a year off from dating

one man said, "F--k you, you stop dating for a year." I said, no waiting

for me as I was married when I got into recovery. He said I will be leaving

here. I will be back when I'm married. It was time for jobs to be changing.

~~~~

One friend said, "No intercourse is okay. There is a lot more cuddling once we accept what is going on". (She is in her 90s now)

"It wasn't just him, it was me too. Lack of libido

even while checking out someone in a speedo

didn't do it. So cuddling is the best for me to do."

~~~~

Photo by Dalelan Anderson on Unsplash

There is an assumption that old people don't have sex. Then there is the assumption that old people have sex as much as when younger. Then there are grown children who hold their fingers in their ears and make noises so they don't have to hear about sex from their parents. All funny to me!

Assumptions fit the saying assume means to make an ass of you and me

Last year I figured out why old women can talk nasty. I was seventy

and still wasn't talking nasty but the single ones were talking.

Until I realized they weren't having sex it was just talk not experiencing.

Preoccupied maybe just a bit. So funny to think of it, but why not as getting

old doesn't mean we are dead. Sex for 50 years may be difficult to bend.

I can go on and on and of course, there is more and it can depend

on who, what, where, when, and how. Enough said, the end!

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About the Creator

Denise E Lindquist

Retired, working part-time as a Native American culture consultant. I have an MSE, and an ABD. I write on Vocal, and Facebook. Poetry, non-fiction mostly, and working on fiction. Wife, mother, grandmother, and great grandmother.

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    Written by Denise E Lindquist