The Christmas Song, Cathy Style

Chess’s nuts are roasting on an open fire

Jack Frost punched him in the nose

Auntie Carol’s being hung by a wire

Cousin Moe is strung up by his toes

Everybody knows that drunken fool, my Uncle Joe

Always tries his best to start a fight

Tiny tots, with their eyes all aglow

Run and hide while screaming out with fright

They know the cops are on their way

To throw Uncle Joe in the lockup for the day

And every mother’s child is gonna spy

To see how long it takes for fists to fly

And so I’m offering this simple plea

To kids from one to ninety-two

Please, dear children, pray for me

and get me the hell out of here too!

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Merry Christmas, Vocal friends!