the art of disappearing

Self-isolation has always been my coping mechanism. I often get the urge to disappear from everyone without a trace. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the company of others, but there are moments when the weight of the world becomes too heavy, and all I want is to be on my own.

There’s something strangely comforting about the idea of disappearing. It’s not about running away from problems; rather, it’s about finding a quiet place where I can simply be. In those moments, I long to ignore everyone and everything around me — to escape into my own little world.

It’s a way for me to protect my sanity and maintain my emotional well-being. Disappearing is my way of reclaiming my peace of mind in a world that constantly demands our attention and drowns us with noise.

When I disappear, I have the freedom to do as I please — reading a book, taking a long walk, sleeping, or indulging in my favorite hobbies without the pressure of social interaction. There’s a certain joy in being able to exist without the need for validation from others.

In embracing the art of disappearing, I’ve come to understand the importance of self-care and self-awareness. It’s about listening to my own needs and setting my boundaries, even if it means stepping away from the chaos of everyday life. Disappearing allows me to recharge, to reflect, and to show up stronger than before.

Yes, I disappear — a lot. And I’ve come to accept that it’s okay. In fact, it’s essential for my mental and emotional well-being. It’s a reminder that amidst the hustle and bustle of life, it’s okay to press pause and to retreat into the comfort of solitude.

But beneath this desire to vanish lies a deeper yearning — not to disappear, but to be found. It’s not a desire to be forgotten, but rather a longing to be sought after, to be understood and accepted for who I am.

“Sometimes, you think you want to disappear, but all you really want is to be found.”

So, even though I may seem like I want to run away, what I really want is for someone to find me, to rescue me from the darkness I’ve always been, to show me the light, and to let me feel that I am not alone.

I may have lived with the art of disappearing, but I also hope that someday, someone will find me.