The Aliens Land in Australia

The aliens arrive in a giant, metal sphere,

skin translucent, I can see through the sheer

Organs of black burrow in their flesh,

veins wrap around bones like mesh

Their ship landed neatly on my shed,

screams and chaos mean neighbours have fled

As they march through a ring of rubble,

I am sure they mean us harm and trouble

I have nothing to fight them with but grit,

I think for a moment that I should split

Meat burns on the bbq as I brandish my tongs,

I’m dressed only in old shorts and thongs

I’m expecting to die in a bloody fight,

instead one of them clicks and sky turns to night

I look up in horror, mouth open wide,

Hundreds more spheres fill up the skies

A throat being cleared draws my gaze back down

The leader, I presume, makes a gurgled sound

Seven veiny fingers hold up a box,

Metallic and brown, it looks like a rock

A pause and then the box begins to speak,

in what sounds oddly like ancient Greek

I’m confused until the rock’s tone changes,

flicking through languages of all earth’s ages

When the box flicks to English my eyes grow wide

Fingers lock the box’s language with a subtle slide

Now I understand, the words chill my heart,

crushing my shed was just the start

Speaking of human murder, mayhem and treason,

The box implores me to come up with one reason,

one reason our planet should not be invaded?

The threat of our demise if they can’t be persuaded

I’m still holding my tongs, the meat long dead,

Trying to come up with a reason in my head

All I can think through all of my fear,

is why the fuck me? Why the fuck here?

They’ve made a mistake, I’m not the right bloke

The fate of the world and I’m going to choke

I’m wondering if have time to call my spouse,

when my old dog Daisy emerges from the house

My heart sinks in my chest as glowing sticks are drawn,

The alien weapons raised as Daisy pees on the lawn

I run over to Daisy, waving tongs in the air,

grab my dog’s collar as the aliens stare

She’s friendly! I shout, not sure if they get it,

I kneel next to my old girl to show I submit

Daisy finally notices the translucent aliens,

maybe she thinks they are weird homo-sapiens?

She pulls out of my grip and walks up to the leader,

She’s thinking maybe this creepy bloke might feed her

Tears run down my face and catch in my beard,

I’m praying my old girl won’t get glow-speared

Seven fingers reach out slowly, Daisy sticks out her tongue,

I’m holding my breath and it’s burning my lungs

Daisy licks the long fingers with gentle grace,

I hope they can recognise the love on her face.

The leader’s hand moves on down to her back,

moves up and down in what looks like a pat

Daisy’s tail wags and she huffs in glee,

I’m so bloody nervous I let out a wee

Soon all the aliens gather around,

petting and gurgling at my old hound

The box translates the gurgles and all I hear

is How soft! So sweet! Oh, what a dear!

After a moment, the leader looks up,

his fingers hesitantly leave the fur of my pup

The box translates the gurgles and relief lets me breathe,

when I hear that the aliens will soon take their leave

They wanted a reason not to invade,

they found it with the kindness Daisy displayed

With a few last pets, they march back onto their ship,

Daisy barks goodbye with a happy little yip

I put my tongs down as the aliens recede,

thinking my old girl deserves a good feed

Night turns to day as the aliens disappear,

I’m left shaking from remnants of fear

Daisy comes over, nuzzles my hands

I scratch her head softly as I struggle to stand

The shed is flattened, but we are all ok,

all thanks to Daisy who saved the day

Daisy trots into the house and I follow her in

Not being invaded, I’d call that a win!

Daisy curls up on her bed after her usual twirl,

she really is the bestest, goodest, good girl.