That is who I am,

September 2019

Journal entry from three years ago today:

Today I sat in the coffee shop where I work

and ate a pastry and had a small cup of coffee

while I read Harry Potter.

I rode my bike there.

I had this thought:

I am just about everything that I ever wanted to be.

I am that quirky barista with her cats and small loft.

I ride my bike everywhere I go

and I sit in cafes and read Harry Potter.

I am now at the library for fun, just writing,

and I am going to look for a cardigan.

Then I am going to go home and clean

and do some yoga and cook a nice lunch

before I water my garden.

I will spend the day watching movies

or just napping with my cats.

It should be a nice Thursday off!

I am who I am supposed to be and that feels weird.

I can accomplish the things I set my heart and mind to.

I know who I see myself as in the future, and I really hope to be her.

I see a writer and artist living in the city,

making plans to open a coffee shop.

She grows her own food and she makes her own clothes.

She rides her bike around the park on a cool fall day

and she has coffee with her partner.

She does yoga, and she meditates

and she plays the ukulele.

She is planning a trip somewhere exotic

and she goes hiking on the weekends.

I can almost close my eyes and feel her.

She is wearing her favourite overalls and she is sitting

on her porch without shoes

and she is rocking in her chair with her cat.

Coffee is in her mug and it is raining.

That is who I am,

who I will be.

September 2022

It is a Thursday today,

and I am exactly who I want to be.