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Thanksgiving blues

by Dnp_happy 6 days ago in sad poetry
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Crying over stupidity

Thanksgiving blues
Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

Thanksgiving came and went in a blink of an eye. Thought it would look like something else (happy and joyful) inside my heart was breaking. My soul was whimpering.

The slow steady drive on the way back home was just insane and I felt like my mind was exploding. I catch myself saying I CANT I CANT to myself out loud.

We live to enjoy life or we live to just pay bills and suffer?

My insides are shaken up I feel as if maybe something inside me has awoken.

I’m so scared and exhausted of all the stress I already have. I wish I could just be stuck in time where it will just come to an end.

I arrive home and sit down staring into space. I wish I would just have some kind of mental break…. I don’t know what set me off, I don’t know what’s written for me above…. All I know is that I’m struggling to live,I’m struggling to smile,I’m struggling to take care of myself.

Why does the tornado always arise when I’m at peace? Why can’t I ever be at ease? I know this is a phase. It kind of feels like im in a daze…..

Why must I always suffer like this? Why must I go through all this just to make me a tougher person than I already am?

Why god must you let me sulk like this? Why can’t you help me? Why can’t the Jewish community just fuckin accept me?

Why must I feel comfortable in a non Jewish setting? Why must I feel the need to run repeatedly for every god damn penny? Why do I feel my body weak? Why do I feel the need to stare at the girl in the mirror by the kitchen sink?

Eye lids are getting heavy…

It’s like soapy water stuck to my eye and trying to open but just burns like hell. It’s like a storm and it’s sandy it’s just hard to open.To open wide and see what the universe has in store for me.

Why must I feel the need to just stay here in my bed? Why must I feel the need to just cry my heart out until I’m full and empty inside?

It’s fuckin 3:50 in the damn morning.

I feel like my words are slurring,I CANT! there I go again I say out loud to myself….

Why all the sudden are these feelings coming again to me now? Why must I live in a world that’s so damn cruel and unfair…

Why must I beg to have that someone special? Why whenever I have that someone they get snatched away from me?

Like a kid in a candy store you give them a lollipop and quickly snatch it away….

Now I’m on the floor crying like a baby. Crying like the little shit head I am. I cry about bills,I cry about how I just want to start popping pills…..

Why must this hit me now? Why must I write about it all the damn time….

Why do I feel like I’m falling out of an airplane? Why do I feel like my heart is pulsing hard? Why do I feel like I’m falling down down down until I hear a thud?

I’m hanging onto myself like as if that’s gonna help? Why do I feel the need to just Sit here write about my bullshit and fuckin pout…..,

Goodnight world,

Goodnight to me I honestly wish the universe would just let me be.

sad poetry

About the author

Dnp_happy

Love to write wrote poetry when I’m in my deepest darkest moments…. ✍️

I want to help the world feel like they’re not alone ❤️

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