Synonymity

I want to except losing you, I don’t want to accept it.

I refuse to accept that you are gone… You are in heaven, except, you are still with me.

I want to feel the void, I don’t want to fill the void. There is a space in my heart, and I don’t want it filled with anything other than your memory. Yes, pain comes with it, but that means I still feel the power of your love.

I will not groan from this pain, I will have grown from it.

I will not have it chasing my heel, as I will heal from it.

Your memory does not knead at me, no, I need it.

I am will not marry the pain of your memory, instead, I am merry in it.

I will not forever be in mourning, instead, I will be driven by your love each morning.

You are not a broken piece of me, no, you are the peace within me.

I am not poor in my sorrow. Instead, from your love, you still pour into me.

The ache will not rein me in. The rain washed my heart clean.

I will not suffer from the scene of losing you. I will remember things you have seen.

I am not sole in my journey. My soul is inspired by yours.

I don’t have just some of your memory. I am a sum of your life.

Instead of the weight of lead upon my shoulders, I will remember as you led me.

I will remember not to be a maid to your memory, instead, I realize I am made in it.

Your memory isn’t banned, it’s an invisible band I wear around my finger… always circling me in power and love.

I won’t drag my pain behind me as a tail tacked on. I will tell the tale of everything you gave to this world.

I will not carry the weight of not seeing you again… I know it’s just a wait until I do.

My eye is not fixed upon the pain, I am focused upon healing.