Sunshine

I have stopped being sorry for my fragile,

for my soft, for my gentle. No longer will

I apologise for telling you I miss you, or

because I need to tell you. I will no longer

close myself off or bottle things up, I will

tell you upfront what is bothering me

because I can’t expect you to read my

mind or my innuendos or always know

instinctually what is wrong. I don’t want

you to think I am cold or indifferent or

noncommunicative. I want to be completely

honest, I want to be able to tell you at 4am

that I love you, that I am overwhelmed with

feelings for you, that I am drowning in a sea

of passion at the thought of your touch. I would

rather you know it than have it bottled up

inside and trying to fumble with the words to

tell you hours later. And if I am overwhelmed by

those same feelings at 6am, I am going to tell you

that too. I don’t want to be patient about those things.

I don’t want to be patient to tell you how happy you

make me, how overwhelmed with desire I become,

how I think about you and my whole body reacts.

And I think you want to know that too. So that is

how it is going to be from now on. If I wake up in

the middle of the night aching for your touch

with fumbling fingers and waves hitting the shore

so hard cliffs fall into the sea you are going to know

about it. And at the crack of dawn too. No more

pretending from me. Not anymore. Not ever.

I’m standing in the kitchen overwhelmed with

feelings for you making tea in the morning

with shallow rapid breaths and thoughts of

you spilling through my mind like sunshine

through the window. You’re going to hear about it.

And right now, here, with arms full of flowers,

here, I want to kiss you.

Right now, right here. I want you so badly I can

feel thunderclouds, lightning hitting and rain

pouring down it is crashing against the hard

ground in massive contracting waves. But the

sunshine is pouring down stroking the flowers and

playing on my skin and all I can think after the

rapid crashes is take my hands, stroke my

fingers, pull me into you.

Kiss my mouth.

I am all yours.