Subterfuge

it’s only a weak beings ego

who underestimated me ,

chose to humiliate

cold contemplate

My fate -the prize for the take,

leave my body and my mind in a worthless rotted state

But I wake up

another day , won’t hesitate to be slaves modern day and bid what they will for the Devil

not a fan of the same thing but it may change the color from blue to evil red on my mood ring when I see you in my head like a drive up movie or a viewing of the body of the dead , sadly I would run and get the snacks and get right back because I had it out before you

For me .

Your dumb

Your fat

You’re gay

You’re lame

You’re never going to make it through

Not to yourself or a friend and strangers too

Then all would see how strange indeed the boy who lurks inside of me , a full grown man held back by a child’s understanding of the things that I’ve had to see the world of all the truth, that most can not handle as adults let alone all in their youth .

It’s been a hard road and it’s not quite over now but I’m learning how to ignore somehow that voice of mine that hates me

If I can forget and forgive myself for a lifetime of abuse

that paved the way for you to do that to me too

I’ll send some love right back to you & your

Black heart of blues

desperate to feel the warmth of the vibrant autumn hues,

in awe

blush and turn red

they’d overheard a conversation that I’d had inside my head

telling me I’m nothing

that I deserve just what I get

about me how I shine how I

gleam like a beam ,

Like the Mercedes Benz

That I’ve seen only in my dreams , at nighttime it would seem , twice alone this week .

if I fight with all my might

and stay true to what is right

i will not die .

I will forever be a torch in the heart of a freshly packed meth pipe . I have sent myself here to be a warrior of light.

Take out all the evil and live all in spite .

Love without conditions and practice acceptance without suspicions .

Don’t judge me for what I do behind closed doors , with all my friends , your family members and relatives , society of secrecy of saving face despite our nose that bleeds

It is a great game of life if you play your cards just right you will get what is promised someone else’s life .