Strings of The Universe

We felt like a reunion long overdue, your energy and your eyes familiar, your arms that immediate home. Crazy mushy stuff.

The way the universe conspired to make each of our meetings so unique. Pulling strings like a scripted play, making time and people stop.

I didn’t care if the play was never meant to see an opening night; something told me to try and damm it I tried my best!

For some unknown reason, I wanted to learn about the real you.

Not just the smart, witty, and old-fashioned you; but the weird you, the odd you.

The one that made mistakes but owned up to them.

I wanted to learn how you drank your coffee and how your face looked in the morning and why you really carried that tumbler religiously everywhere.

I weirdly loved how your eyes rolled back at something that made you happy and how you said "interesting" when you couldn't explain something that made your heart flutter.

I especially wanted to know the reason your eyes looked so hurt and wise, and why your heart now lived locked behind the safety of purpose and knowledge.

I wanted you to show me where you were scarred, to look at you in the eyes and tell you "Hey I understand and I’m here for you".

It’s crazy! But I really fucking felt that. To a complete stranger!

I wanted to say "I want to truly know you because I feel down the road I could love you".

As time passed though, I kept waiting at the fork and you never got there.

You were drowning in work and purpose, me trying to reach you, but you unreachable,

miles away in the current.

So I realized it was time for me to stop because what I saw in you was not what you were giving me.

Potential is not reality.

So we peacefully took a different road. It was for the best. Right?

I just can’t help but think about that one night I heard your heartbeat as we napped under the rain.

When you said my heartbeat sounded so small while yours was trying its best not to burst.

And your hands gently caressed the small of my back wanting to take hold of me but afraid of doing it because you feared losing control.

At that moment I was too scared to ask...

why did it feel like your heart was screaming for someone to listen to it?

It might be wishful thinking but I think the seed was there yet it wilted before blooming.

So why universe did you conspire to help us meet to then part ways?

All I can assume is that it was a lesson and for that I am truly grateful and happy

because for once it was a happy lesson.

I encountered someone that taught me how it feels to be understood and safe.

Now that our celestially orchestrated eclipse is over and we parted ways

I wish with all my heart that you find the one that will be the right one.

The one whose skin you feel safe

and like the energy through the phases of the moon, you find them intense but constant. The one person that feels like home.

I wish that for you, I, and anyone who is reading this and whose heart was hurt, healing, and broken

so that it slowly starts learning how to beat once again.

To love all over again.

This is dedicated to G and how in everyone I truly felt safe in you. Strangers and all it was wonderful, even if at that time my or your pain prevented us from ever becoming something *interesting*