Content warning
This story may contain sensitive material or discuss topics that some readers may find distressing. Reader discretion is advised. The views and opinions expressed in this story are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Vocal.
I chug water so something is in me
I have pleasure from the pain of a mostly empty stomach
At first the pain was just that... pain
It was me punishing myself
But now I enjoy that feeling
I control when I have it... my only form of control
I wait until I get dizzy and eat the smallest amount I can
Then I wait for it to happen again
I don't know if I can get out of this cycle
I starve myself for control... for pleasure.
About the Creator
Rene Peters
I write what I know, usually in the form of poetry. I tend to lean towards mental health, epilepsy, and loss/grieving.
Keep reading
More stories from Rene Peters and writers in Poets and other communities.
Comments (5)
This was so relatable because I love doing this to myself too
I struggled with anorexia and body image in my teens. No one noticed. We can fool do many. I over exercised. It's a fries chore. Control is my culprit.
Sending virtual hugs!!!❤️❤️💕
Food is sometimes the most dangerous drug/tool/weapon out there...
I hear you in that. It’s hard to realize it is actually a form of self harm. I struggle to get myself to eat often so I batch cook. I can feel the pain in this poem. Well done