Sorry

I look at you looking at her Smiling, Talking, having a great day.

I look at you looking at her, only im kinda far away, where I can’t hear what

you say.

I've been sitting alone for awhile now trying to give you space.

It was mostly because I couldn't stand to see the sad look on your face.

Some of that was my fault and I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I let you down,

I’m sorry I spilled my thoughts and feelings to you when I weak and alone.

I look around and think that I have sinned this horrible sin and I need to atone

When in reality all I did was be me.

But it wasn't the best version I could be.

I walked around and never put my head down because I was myself,

Not bottling up my emotions and hiding them away on a shelf.

I thought I was better than that,

I thought I was stronger than that.

Sadly, her words words have messed me up

And to be honest I though the hurt they brought would never stop

But now I see that just one mistake can’t and won’t define me!

Because I am stronger than that,

And I am better than that.

I look at you looking at her...

Then suddenly, you look at me.

I find the courage to look you in the eyes and mouth my apology

I’m sorry,

I’m sorry I let you down

I’m sorry I spilled my thoughts and feelings to you when I was weak

I’m sorry for my one mistake that might never go away but now im different

I’m that better version of me

And that…

That will never change.

—ShaiLee Carrigan