Sleepless nights

Been laying in bed all weekend. Don’t want to get up nor move. The thoughts lay here in my head but I think to myself maybe I should just go back to bed… to sleep I go but my dreams come to haunt me yet again. No escape there… I’m to angry right now to shed a tear….. I sit on my bed way to angry to shed this damn tear. Why can’t he see I’m hurting? Do I have feelings still in this relationship I simply don’t know….

Angry I sit here trying to look out my window.all the people walking by oh so pleasant. I wonder do you think he’ll come by and knock on my window? Oh the thoughts just scramble in my head I wonder wasn’t there enough to be said?

Take me back to the days When I was happy, take me back to the days when I didn’t need to worry about what’s to come. Day in day out. I stay quiet but yet just want to shout….

I don’t understand I want him no one else but all this thinking leads me back to when my one true love told me he wouldn’t get married before me….. yet that leaves me here sitting all alone and blurry feeling so I can’t see….. happily married at least I think he is should I be upset at him or just continue life like this?

Oh the memories I made with him wish they can come back. Please hold me in your arms and don’t let my my body crack…. Sitting on his bed we sat eating snack after snack. I fell asleep in his arms yet he just kissed me good night….

Is there a light to the end of this life? Is there any light to my life? Someone please tell me I’m to tired to keep on fighting this battle alone. Yet again here I am on my bed thinking of what can be.

Another heartbreak is tearing me apart. Going into another year of worry, emotional pain and let alone there’s no one to blame…. So here’s to a new year I hope all good is to come for now I sit here on my bed feeling like a total utter bum…..