Signed With Regret

Dear William,

I find the asymmetrical features of your face to be equally rugged and sexy

but there is also a sadness there, I want to spend hours kissing away

Your hazel eyes would shine more if you smiled

The world hasn't been so kind to you but I can be

Your words don't match your actions

How do I get you to open yourself up to me?

Your goofiness is charismatic

Yet you exuberate masculinity

The fact that you can pull nothing out of the air and turn it into music elates me

I feel as though I am drowning in waves of emotions when you ignore me

I welcome sleep every night just to be close to you, even if it isn't real

There is an experience there that I crave in the waking world

Skin on skin, laughter, passion, I want it all

The waiting, the wondering, the silence, the ache

I can't look at anyone else without wishing it was you

Dating seems pointless to me

You invade my thoughts on any given day

I wonder what you are doing, how you are feeling and what you are thinking

Does your bed feel as empty as mine?

At first, your messages brought a smile to my face

Now there is a pit in my stomach when I see your name

It angers me how alone you make me feel

I want to crawl onto your lap and wrap myself around you

Feel your breath tickle my skin

Feel safe because I haven't felt safe in a very long time

The night seems unfathomable to face alone

I wait for any indication that you still think of me

Maybe, I just want you to be something you're not

And you can't love me the way I need to be loved

But I guess we will never know

Because you are nothing more than a person hiding behind a screen.

Sincerely, me.