Shapeshifting Love

I remember the beginning

Getting lost in each other's eyes

For seconds or hours

It did not make a difference

We were home

Where did that go?

What the fuck happened?

How was that wrong?

How did we let it go?

Was I even there?

I loved you too much, or too little

Never enough nor the right time

I gave you everything I was willing to give

You needed what was unwilling to go

Changing my entire being for you

Always remaining the same

A gun to your head

Please love me forever

Gripping until the breath escapes your lungs

And the cage of your ribs gives way

Fumbling the light you gave

Nurturing nothing, lost in a cave

Darkness swallows entirely

Forgetting you are there to guide me

Blame is not fair to place

On myself in full

Yet I know I am nothing worth

Revisiting in theory alone

Conceptually I was perfect

Botched execution

Once twin flames

Journeying without the other

Is the lasting legacy

Accepting how love forms new shapes

I still see your face in everything

A kin to blindness

Seeing nothing; except what you refuse to face

Letting what we were spiral windward

Clearing way for the echoes; that find myself

Coming back is no easy task

When was I last vibrant?

Only vacant, yet no vacancy

There was no space for you to rest your head

No space for who I am

Clearing out the cobwebs, incomplete

Sweeping out the lies and defeat

I will be whole one day

Then I will love

Myself