Shakespeare Was a Eunuch

Shakespeare was a secret Eunuch

with no balls to speak of as such

I read it once in a journal entry

by a noble of the fallen gentry

He was ballless through and through

Physically and mentally, it's true

Insightful and thoughtful writing, my arse

From tragedy to romance and outright farce

Some of his work don't hold up to scrutiny

Controversy to rival the teachings of Ptolemy

Though often heralded as the Will the Bard

Was to pen Romeo and Juliet really that hard?

Anti-war sentiments, obsession and duality aside

It's the age difference and grooming I can't abide

For Romeo Romeo was not the great romantic lead

But rather a pervert looking to sow his seed

In the younger, impressionable and fair Juliet

Who was far from fully mature as one could get

Perhaps it was a twisted fantasy of Will the Bored

As he had nothing of value, no seed to offer forward

To the theatre darlings, royalty and harlots of his day

Stealing other people's works was his roll in the hay

Richard the Third got done dirty by Will the Beard

And what he did in Taming of the Shrew was absurd

Borderline lazy portrayals by the most human human

So-called by almost everyone, except of course, this man

Brevity is the soul of wit, so says Ol' Will the Eunuch

No legacy is so rich as honesty, from him that's rather rich

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: This stream of consciousness took a turn, to say the least. Inspired by Rachel Deeming who recommended/suggested/egged on me to write one named "Shakespeare was a Eunuch", this satirical critique emerged. Hope you enjoyed it.

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