Shades of Anxiety

It begins with a vision of mouldering green that ebbs yet strengthens,

then your thoughts accelerate,

your view turns inward and impressions become clouded.

A greyness seeps in and jazzy thoughts seem contrarian,

and as those thoughts multiply,

the internal monologue starts to become overtly permeating.

You close your eyes tighter which concentrates the spectrum,

thoughts become a screeching tune,

and your mind heads to an ebony space your body wants to flee.

The incessant creeping of dread finds a vice grip on your mind,

thoughts become increasingly disconnected,

slipping and sliding over each other in chaotic compositions.

In a tiny part of your brain still laid bare is a rational colour,

these thoughts don't make sense,

so you fight for calm but are exhausted from marshalling brighter shades.

You cannot escape your own mind as you scrap and struggle,

trying desperately to think thoughts back to normalcy,

but always failing to stop the escalating irrationality.

Your heart is pounding and ultimately your mind starts to see red,

your thoughts fixate blindly on finding blues,

and you are provided with fleeting ghosts of blended purple.

You focus all your mental strength on the colours you now glimpse,

thoughts become increasingly coherent,

and your conceptual agility finds a sense of simple steadiness.

As the lilac shades multiply compassionately around your head,

your thoughts take a cramped step back to the outside,

and your mind begins to appreciate harmony is not far away.

You know from experience to keep your mind essence on the exterior,

it is in that intellectuality where thoughts eventually normalise,

and you know a panic attack has finally exhausted itself.

It ends with a verdant mossy green and a shift to natural brightness,

as your thoughts come back into the present,

you tremble with relief as once again your world performs inside lightness.