Self Reflection

I toss and turn cause I hurt at night

And I "whine" cause it hurts when you squeeze me tight.

I do more then I should cause I try to fight

I'm always in pain and it makes me uptight

And you don't know about times I hide and cry

Or even close to all the times I wished I would die.

It broke my heart to hear you think I would lie.

I take so many pills every single day!

Do you really think I would want it this way?

I begged and threw a fit for you to work and help

Don't you think if I could, I would have just done it myself.

I wont continue to apologies for something I could not stop

The car accident derailed me on my way to the top.

And along with the physical issues was depression and PTSD

And still to this day they still fuck with me.

I have many racing thoughts along with " was it my fault"?

But I keep all those horrible feelings locked in a vault.

I cant show weakness, I cant show fear,

Not when you or the children are near.

I don't like to feel like I've let you guys down,

But you broke my heart saying you think I'm exaggerating now.

I don't want to hear excuses or apologies later on

So I guess we better pray that the worst of it is gone