Scar(r)ed

Back on tarred roads with eyes to the sky

Rain pour, soul hurt, didn't have a chance to say goodbye

Broken in pieces I didn't even know exists

Soaked in rain, pain, sweat from my blonde hair to my feet

Well-done death, you finally did it

I almost joined you but survived, indebted

And now you took him, is it now balanced

Maybe I should have read the terms when you brought the contract

But it's your game so I guess you're never defeated

I see him everywhere , in dreams and mirrors

Ever since he kicked the bucket, in pain I drink to stupor

Months later I am there at the crash site

Still sensing his presence like a shadow lingering in the brightest light

Loosing you was loosing a huge part of my essence

Like a punch to the stomach, I wasn't ready for this

It hurts so much, like a tire without air, i feel deflated

Thinking of joining you is something I've debated

Maybe Big-guy has different plans, hence why I failed successfully

Everything going so wrong that it feels so right

My normal life without the Christmas lights

The tears I can't control, they now fall willingly

But maybe with every dark cloud and down poor of rain

Every blood , sweat and every stain of pain

Comes the morning , except with U in the OR

I can't comprehend waking up without you

Just to stare at your bracelet for an hour

Recently saw you radiating so much peace

I smiled for the first time since that phone ring

Inking you on my skin, in my mind, that's a win

Leaving the cocoon, it's time to spread my wings

So this is for you, thank you, oh wall of tar

Forever in my heart, that's where you are

Clouds are never stagnant, that's how they are

I finally drew a tattoo over my scar