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This story may contain sensitive material or discuss topics that some readers may find distressing. Reader discretion is advised. The views and opinions expressed in this story are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Vocal.

๐•พ๐–†๐–“๐–™๐–† ๐•ฎ๐–‘๐–†๐–œ๐–˜!

๐”–๐”ฉ๐”ž๐”ฐ๐”ฅ๐”ฆ๐”ซ๐”ค ๐”ฑ๐”ฅ๐”ฏ๐”ฌ๐”ฒ๐”ค๐”ฅ ๐”ฑ๐”ฅ๐”ข ๐”–๐”ซ๐”ฌ๐”ด

By ๐‘๐Œ ๐’๐ญ๐จ๐œ๐ค๐ญ๐จ๐งPublished 7 months ago โ€ข Updated 7 months ago โ€ข 1 min read
Image created by Author with AI Tools on Fotor.com

Tิ‹ฮนส‚ ฮนส‚ ฮฑ ษพาฝส‚ฯฯƒษณส‚าฝ ฦšฯƒ Sฦšาฝฯิ‹ฮฑษณฮนาฝ Hฯƒฯƒษ ส‚ฦšฮฑิƒ'ส‚ Wฮนษณฦšาฝษพ Hฯƒษพษพฯƒษพ Wษพฮนฦšฮนษณษ  Pษพฯƒษฑฯฦš

๐•พ๐–†๐–“๐–™๐–† ๐•ฎ๐–‘๐–†๐–œ๐–˜!

Weโ€™ve all heard of Santa, that โ€œjolly old elfโ€

Who navigates the globe in a sleigh by himself

Led by a team of nine flying reindeer

And fueled by iced cookies and holiday cheer

He spreads Christmas spirit with bountiful joy

Descending down chimneys with a bag full of toys

and tablets and TVs and puppies galore

An endless delight of cheap crap you adore

. . . This is the tale that youโ€™re told to believe

But itโ€™s a concoction of fiction designed to deceive

And every parent knows it, yet still they persist

In spinning grand yarns of the naughty-nice list

The real storyโ€™s darker โ€“ and far less heartwarming

And it comes with an N-S-F-W warning

Itโ€™s true that Santa is old and immortal

And hangs out with reindeer and elves at the North Pole

But kind he is not, and heโ€™s repulsed by gift-giving

Instead, he pimps hookers and cooks meth for a living

His breath smells abhorrent and his teeth are blood-stained

From his diet of flesh and intestine and brain

Santaโ€™s been un-dead for hundreds of years

What remains is the embodiment of your deepest dark fears

While you lie in your bed and await his brief stop

And listen for reindeer upon your rooftop

Santa has directed his magical ride

To the homes where the naughtiest kids all reside

As sugar-plum fairies prance about in your head

Santaโ€™s making his rounds โ€“ and he needs to be fed!

So settle your brains for a long winterโ€™s nap

With a prayer that you wonโ€™t become Santaโ€™s next snack!

๐•พ๐–œ๐–Š๐–Š๐–™ ๐•ฏ๐–—๐–Š๐–†๐–’๐–˜ ๐–†๐–“๐–‰ ๐•ธ๐–Š๐–—๐–—๐–ž ๐•ฎ๐–๐–—๐–Ž๐–˜๐–™๐–’๐–†๐–˜!

Image created by Author with AI Tools on Fotor.com


About the Creator

๐‘๐Œ ๐’๐ญ๐จ๐œ๐ค๐ญ๐จ๐ง

หœโ€*ยฐโ€ข.หœโ€*ยฐโ€ข Time is our most valuable asset. Thank you for spending some of your time with me! โ€ขยฐ*โ€หœ.โ€ขยฐ*โ€หœ

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Reader insights


Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

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Comments (12)

  • L.C. Schรคfer6 months ago

    That was horrifying, I loved it!

  • Clever&WTF7 months ago

    Absolutely terrifying! Great job!

  • Daphsam7 months ago

    Wowser that was a twist. Well, one thing for sure you surely know how to write a horrifying tale of Santa Claus. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

  • Novel Allen7 months ago

    OMG...that last pic is totally hoorrif...that alone would do the trick!!!! I knew that Santa was too good to be true. Good one RM.

  • PJ Watts7 months ago

    Lol - I like the idea of being Santa's snack! Loved it!

  • Natasha Collazo7 months ago

    Love the photos lol ๐Ÿ‘

  • Lamar Wiggins7 months ago

    Great photos to go along with this twisted, humorous tale... Loved it! This line especially creeped me out: "Santaโ€™s been un-dead for hundreds of years What remains is the embodiment of your deepest dark fears" ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Great work!

  • Grz Colm7 months ago

    Argh!!!! ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ‘

  • Oooo, I really like this version of Santa. He's so cool. Lol. Loved this so much!

  • Stephanie Hoogstad7 months ago

    Nicely done! I probably shouldn't have, but I actually found this quite hilarious (perhaps in part due to the line about meth and hookers, lol). A zombie Santa is a great angle to take. Thanks for sharing!

  • Lana V Lynx7 months ago

    This is very cool, I enjoyed reading it as I'm re-watching the 2022 Violent Night movie at the background.

  • Real Poetic7 months ago

    lol I love it! Iโ€™m questioning whether I should join in. I donโ€™t usually write horror but your poem is so tempting! Letโ€™s see if my brain can come up with anything. I really loved this line! โ€œhe employs hookers and cooks meth for a livingโ€ ๐Ÿคฃ Great job my friend. ๐Ÿฉต๐Ÿฉต๐Ÿฉต

๐‘๐Œ ๐’๐ญ๐จ๐œ๐ค๐ญ๐จ๐งWritten by ๐‘๐Œ ๐’๐ญ๐จ๐œ๐ค๐ญ๐จ๐ง

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