๐พ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐!
๐๐ฉ๐๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ค๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ข ๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐ด
Tิฮนส ฮนส ฮฑ ษพาฝสฯฯษณสาฝ ฦฯ Sฦาฝฯิฮฑษณฮนาฝ Hฯฯษ สฦฮฑิ'ส Wฮนษณฦาฝษพ Hฯษพษพฯษพ Wษพฮนฦฮนษณษ Pษพฯษฑฯฦ
๐พ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐!
Weโve all heard of Santa, that โjolly old elfโ
Who navigates the globe in a sleigh by himself
Led by a team of nine flying reindeer
And fueled by iced cookies and holiday cheer
He spreads Christmas spirit with bountiful joy
Descending down chimneys with a bag full of toys
and tablets and TVs and puppies galore
An endless delight of cheap crap you adore
. . . This is the tale that youโre told to believe
But itโs a concoction of fiction designed to deceive
And every parent knows it, yet still they persist
In spinning grand yarns of the naughty-nice list
The real storyโs darker โ and far less heartwarming
And it comes with an N-S-F-W warning
Itโs true that Santa is old and immortal
And hangs out with reindeer and elves at the North Pole
But kind he is not, and heโs repulsed by gift-giving
Instead, he pimps hookers and cooks meth for a living
His breath smells abhorrent and his teeth are blood-stained
From his diet of flesh and intestine and brain
Santaโs been un-dead for hundreds of years
What remains is the embodiment of your deepest dark fears
While you lie in your bed and await his brief stop
And listen for reindeer upon your rooftop
Santa has directed his magical ride
To the homes where the naughtiest kids all reside
As sugar-plum fairies prance about in your head
Santaโs making his rounds โ and he needs to be fed!
So settle your brains for a long winterโs nap
With a prayer that you wonโt become Santaโs next snack!
๐พ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฏ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!
About the Creator
๐๐ ๐๐ญ๐จ๐๐ค๐ญ๐จ๐ง
หโ*ยฐโข.หโ*ยฐโข Time is our most valuable asset. Thank you for spending some of your time with me! โขยฐ*โห.โขยฐ*โห
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Comments (12)
That was horrifying, I loved it!
Absolutely terrifying! Great job!
Wowser that was a twist. Well, one thing for sure you surely know how to write a horrifying tale of Santa Claus. ๐๐๐
OMG...that last pic is totally hoorrif...that alone would do the trick!!!! I knew that Santa was too good to be true. Good one RM.
Lol - I like the idea of being Santa's snack! Loved it!
Love the photos lol ๐
Great photos to go along with this twisted, humorous tale... Loved it! This line especially creeped me out: "Santaโs been un-dead for hundreds of years What remains is the embodiment of your deepest dark fears" ๐ฎ Great work!
Argh!!!! ๐๐
Oooo, I really like this version of Santa. He's so cool. Lol. Loved this so much!
Nicely done! I probably shouldn't have, but I actually found this quite hilarious (perhaps in part due to the line about meth and hookers, lol). A zombie Santa is a great angle to take. Thanks for sharing!
This is very cool, I enjoyed reading it as I'm re-watching the 2022 Violent Night movie at the background.
lol I love it! Iโm questioning whether I should join in. I donโt usually write horror but your poem is so tempting! Letโs see if my brain can come up with anything. I really loved this line! โhe employs hookers and cooks meth for a livingโ ๐คฃ Great job my friend. ๐ฉต๐ฉต๐ฉต