"Remove That Hex!" in a Sec

I love limericks and feel their rhythm but cannot write them. However, I am good at writing up absurdities and satire, according to my friends and readers. Recently, I submitted a story for the Vocal Tall Tail challenge that I believe it is one of my best stories as it combines elements of Russian fairy tales, Russian absurdism, and parody on romance novels. I honestly attempted to write a limerick based on the story, but could go no further than "There once was a woman named Elena..."

So, just for the fun of it I thought I'd ask ChatGPT to write limericks based on three fragments of my original story. I beleive the result is not bad, but you the reader be the judge. I edited some lines, some more than others, to correct for confusion or incorrect interpretation of the story. Here they are:

1. Woman turns a talking fish into a prince with a hit on its head

Original story: ...The woman wasn’t exactly a bodybuilder but not a wimp either. She pulled her strength, took the fish by its tail with both hands and smacked it against the counter with full force.

A second later, a handsome prince in colorful medieval Russian princely garb stood before her, holding his head in his hands, as if nursing it after a hard blow.

“Stupid witch! It’s more painful with every time!”

“I’m not a witch!” the woman protested, shocked. “And you literally asked for it!”

“Not you, of course, my darling, but the witch who put a hex on me! Every time a woman has to hit me on the head it seems to require more and more force.”

“A hex???” the woman asked, shocked. “And a hit? What happened to the kiss?”...

ChatGPT-generated limericks that I edited considerably:

There once was a woman, love doubter

Who hit a talking fish on the counter

But with a loud smack

A prince was thrown back

Cursing a witch for making him flounder.

*

The woman was not to blame

As the prince felt his head was on flame

He cried out in pain

From a hex's cruel reign

Leaving the woman feeling plenty insane.

*

She wondered about the prince's fate

Why a kiss was replaced wiht a violent date

But the prince shook his head

And sadly he said

"A hit on the head is now my fate."

*

2. Elena builds a next for fish eggs she'd laid, hoping one of them would hatch into a human baby

Original story: ...she built a nest out of rocks and plants in the aquarium, went to the bathroom and carefully scooped the fish eggs from the bottom of the toilet. She then transferred the eggs into the nest and said to the fish, “Keep them warm. Maybe one of them will hatch and give us a baby.”

“That does not make sense!” the fish said. “How can a human baby hatch out of a fish egg?”

“Does any of this make sense? How can a fish talk? Or a woman lay fish eggs?” the woman responded impatiently, dressing to go to her important postal job. She had been recently promoted to a shift manager and couldn’t be late or skip work.

“How do you suggest I keep them warm in the cold water?” the fish asked.

“I don’t know, maybe sit on them?”

“Do you hear yourself? I’m not a chicken, I must move when I’m in the water. Sit on them! So absurd!”

“For someone who said animals lacked self-awareness, you are incredibly perceptive,” Elena said, and added in a conciliatory tone, “Well, I don’t know what else to do! In any case, it wouldn’t hurt to try, stay as still as you can over the eggs.”

ChatGPT-generated limericks that I edited lightly:

There once was a woman named Elena

Who built a nest in her aquarium arena

She scooped up her fish eggs batch

And said, "keep them warm, so they hatch"

The fish said, "a baby from fish eggs? That's anathema!"

*

Elena said, "Does any of this make sense?

How can a fish talk or I lay eggs, hence?"

The fish asked, "How do I keep them warm?"

Elena replied, "Maybe sit on them in your form"

*

The fish protested, "I'm not a chicken, oh please!"

Elena conceded, "Okay, just stay still, do not freeze"

The woman went off to her postal job with a grin

Leaving the fish to ponder her strange whims within.

*

3. Elena and Prince figure out a strange cat steals their eggs

Original text: ...The culprit cat looked old and unkempt, broken or torn, with a limp in its front right leg and one eye half-closed by a scar running through its head. In the recording, the cat seemed to have appeared out of thin air, got to the aquarium nest, scooped out the fish eggs with its paw and gobbled them all up. Then the cat stared at the fish for some time, scratching the aquarium glass with its brittle untrimmed nails and moving its mouth as if saying something to the fish. And then it disappeared into the thin air again, just like it showed up minutes before.

“That’s the witch herself!” Prince said, pale from the shocking realization. “No wonder I don’t remember anything, she must have been erasing my memories every time with that signature paw-and-mouth move.” Prince mimicked the cat scratching the aquarium glass.

ChatGPT-generated limerick, unedited:

There once was a culprit cat so wild,

With scars, limps, and fur all unstyled,

It appeared out of the blue,

To the aquarium it flew,

And gobbled the fish eggs undefiled.

*

The cat then stared at the fish in awe,

Scratching the glass with its rough paw,

It moved its mouth in a spell,

Prince knew it all too well,

The witch had been wiping his memory raw.

*

Prince shuddered, realizing the truth,

The witch's paw-and-mouth move, uncouth,

Had erased his memories for years,

But now, with eyes full of tears,

He vowed to expose the witch, forsooth!

***

Disclaimer: I followed all the discussion here on Vocal about how to treat ChatGPT-generated content and as someone who teaches communication ethics will not be offended if this submission to the Ludicrous Limerick challenge does not win anything or counts for nothing. I'm not even sure that the limericks will meet the challenge-specified format. I simply thought this would be just a good educational exercise. And I would certainly greatly appreciate if you read my original "Remove That Hex!" story here by clicking on this link.