RED CLAY AND SUNKISSED BROWN SKIN

I was born

surrounded by

white desert sands;

my skin is a dark contrast

with its red clay and sun-kissed brown color.

My father wrapped me in a soft fur lined papoose

and gave me a purple amethyst to keep me safe, then disappeared.

I relocated to

black asphalt streets

and graffiti-covered back alleys.

My mother wrapped me in a white

fringed tallit that was given to me by my new family;

fair European skin contrasted by my red clay and sun-kissed brown color.

I had become a

Jewish Native American girl

and my new life was a contrast to my

red clay and sun-kissed brown skin roots.

I wrapped myself in a rust striped Navajo blanket

and cried as I held my tallit in my hands unsure of who I was.

I struggled with my identity.

As an adolescent, I felt like I had no home.

I would sit and wrap my arms around myself and try

to feel less like the intruder I portrayed in our family photos

with my striking contrast of red clay and sun-kissed brown skin.

I spent my

young adult years traveling from

white sand beaches to emerald green forests.

Searching for my identity through life's natural beauty.

I collected memories like paint store color swatches along the way

using them to create the palette I would call my life and who I had become.

Now I am older and

a mother with my own family.

My children’s skin is a blend of their parents

and they find comfort in wrapping themselves

in my Navajo blanket and blue and white fringed tallit

while using my palette to help them create their own picture of life.