Really Comfortable Panties

My underwear disintegrated right down the middle

the labial line

Life is literally falling from me

Whatever's been holding for a long, long time

years

Like thick dry fur

No matter how much you brush

It sheds when it's ready

Slipping them off, I feel sleek

Like a natural grooming

Exfoliated in red, red mud

Rinsed, dried, and shining

In the glory of the Western Desert

Sands have been fucking settled

Molded by forces known to gods the size of this world

I have been carved from stone

Drug along empty islands

Slow and with broad weight

Stubborn AF and with need for erosive tools

If I must come

My path gonna be cleared

and thorough

That I leave behind

A rip in tightly knit time

That let open lightly in the end

With graduated pressure

Like a cigarillo wrap wetted for ease with tears

The tender moistening of my once rightly fitted garment

straight along the Lilith line

Has released me

Has opened a portal that can never be closed

For I have miscarried my shame through all of this

My trauma-bonded mutt is dead

Yet I am still alive and giving no fucks about some deal with God

or that my private parts are showing

So this morning I bathed from a pot filled with filtered water

like I did once on a warm Egyptian rock

alone with an ancient sun dripping on my skin

And after, I finally cleaned her drops of uterine puss off the floor

My Ladygirl

Now it's almost like she's really gone

I hate it

I am numb

I oscillate between the two

Pets shouldn't have to suffer

Though our kinship thrived on this undue understanding of life

But now, I wonder, will my understanding change?

This new puppy is the 1st non-traumatic love I will have experienced

At 1st I felt uncomfortable with it

like new bottoms

adapting to my form

But beauty is in gestation and I am waiting for the weight to set in

The weight is my favorite part

When you perceive

The heart must grow big enough to bear it

You grow into each other like a placenta into the uterus

That's why the cleaving process feels like birth

and almost death

Where you are both the baby and the bearer

And my baby has finally stopped crying

My vagina's done discharged

And I am ready for some really comfortable panties

because I deserve it

I passed all the tests for Christ's sake

Even more so than God the Son, because I am still human

- God the Woman

And the only thing I want is to teach people how

To breathe through the pain

and use it to reach euphoria

while at the precipice of despair

from where you can see enlightenment

- the biggest turntable of all time

To deliver oneself through these organic rushes

To believe in yourself and trust the process

To leave your knives sterile on the table

For this stone has learned to move via harmonious vibrations

There is no need to grimace, I have found

For I am Gravida Para and my body has done this before

And my ready pearls slip

through the likes of 2 lips of a tulip's mouth these days.