rageously

on the ground again,

in shock,

cause i wasn't honest with myself.

here i am: from lying,

down to the go,

angry about being aimed to the grind.

ostracized, made fun of, for being so serious.

but i'm not an angry old man,

yet, truth be told:

no, i feel down,

in a general direction

that's the way i feel, not how.

skulking in the shadows,

so low.

so understated.

so fuck i n g o u t rageously.

me? a victim?

i'm still afraid of the dark.

you think that's going to be permanent?

¡i'll still give you a reason to cry, wolf!

while i realize i must not know who i am anymore..

not if i am turning into my mom.

i can see why it looks that way-

such cause for alarm-

like i am a stranger in my own life,

so far from shore,

lost in my mind.

learn to ask, know, hear, and don't tell.

that's not a bad idea,

to steer clear-

i am thought of dangerously.

you just never know..

and these days,

it got hard to tell you from anything.

even harder to yet justify;

while higher and higher courts held trial,

the hordes of my demons flew.

so do i.

all at MY disposal;

eat my words;

hear my little earworms;

be slowly engorged by MY ego.

this is the progenitor of resistance;

we are unpredictable;

some theoretical over-killer;

a punishment without precedent-

the war wages with the psyche of the people.

be my American dream:

the double-standard's end.

the reason i am so multifaceted.

so capable, but don't.

no proof is necessary!

but i don't want to be obeyed,

just one amongst many peers.

with no words need be exchanged-

not obligated to anyone or thing,

if you thought of me or otherwise,

equally lacking if you agree-

i am an individual at my own cost,

for my own gain.

the source of your mistrust is the only secret here-

so simple.

still, you refuse to see-

what exists‽

you can't lie to anybody's god.

and not even gods can hide who they are.

not even we.