Quarantine Dream Scenes

Stagnant

I find myself torn

seized in your hold whilst

reaching for aims

beyond it

unsure and trembling

I beg of you to step

forward with me

to accompany me on my

pilgrimage

to aid me in searching for my

purpose in

and squeeze my hand

as I traverse this troubling globe

still we do not move

I am intoxicated so

by my love for you

that I dare not wish to leave

so I stay where I am

with you

Slipped

you feasted upon flesh

sad and confused

she assessed the room

before her

and found herself split

between

suspiciously tired

and desperately confused

her eyelids were like

weighted curtains

she dropped into your arms

corpse-heavy

The Swan

she waddled along the bank

of her pond

it was a palliative day for the little swan

never did she think that

in an instant

her life would change

she came across two

duck eggs

cold and abandoned

she could feel that there was still

life within them

so she carved a hole into her life

she sat on them for days

warming them as her own

dedicated

thrilled to help them hatch

ready to watch them grow

she gave her all

the day they popped out

of their shells

she beamed with pride

the ducklings nuzzled up to her

immediately

and she at once felt whole

not long after

an angry duck appeared

it attacked the swan

it snatched up the ducklings

the swan tried to go after it

she was unsuccessful

on that day

the swan felt the hole that she’d carved

for the very first time

it was empty now

with no idea how to fill it

she swam in circles

Today

in the cities, I see people

standing

fighting

defending

speaking their beliefs

in my short life, I have witnessed

injustice

inequality

violence

innocence stolen away

lately, the events in the news are

distressing

scary

unfathomable

and, overall, untrustworthy

Tonight

Damned America

The nights went darker

Than ever before

The enforcers became violent

The oppressed became

The Resistance

Some of the resistance

were targeted

merely for their color

When peaceful protests

became violent riots

She nodded

slightly

standing directly in the line of fire

” I will protect you

my brothers and sisters

for I am protected myself

Lydia

Lydia found eighteen

wasn't like they said it would be. What,

without knowing yourself,

are you meant to do?

Her current situation was bleak.

With no drive, no passion,

she gave in

to her dangerous desires.

She was charming enough, and

was serious

about achieving her whims.

Jeffrey, Nick, Adam.

She was tired

of juggling; tired

of feeling purposeless.

People are free,

but only in a monetary sense.

Most will watch you

put daisies in your hair

with a bright smile, but

few will hear you

as you cry out into the night;

those who do, have heard

woman in ecstasy, woman in pain.

Sweet, vulnerable

woman of the night.

They hadn’t deserved it; no,

not a single one.

Her sacred temple,

trampled,

vandalized

by the likes of those

boys.

Time

The minutes

are slipping through my fingers

as I try to count them

half the time complaining

that they go by too slowly

Never appreciating what I have until I miss it

The clock ticks

it makes me anxious

I try to drown it out

I spend my time avoiding time

Despair

I'm torn up inside

his arms are a cage now

-I trapped myself

devoured by my thirst

for affection

abandoned my singularity

”became one with him”

stole away his

individuality

the mutual abuse

started with me

- I think

it escalated slowly

at first

some times were

-and still are

promising

nevertheless

there are steady times

of harrowing despair

”misery loves company”

-where do I go from here?

Vanilla

at the bankers ball

they didn't dance

and they didn't smile

wine was chilling

introductions made

firecrackers went off

still

they didn’t smile

would they ever

these women wish for beauty

the men crave power

each and every one

frightened

by their own desires

beings too self conscious

to hone their deviance

Addicted

at first she drank freely

but then saw something

in the hand from which

she was sipping

aged rotten teeth

swam around in the

red wine that poured from

his veiny wrists

it was a pretty

well dressed secret

she seemed lovely

eternally fluttering around

compelled

by his every whim

Daddy

you were incurable

I tell myself over and over

the colors have all faded

since you fell

I miss you constantly

I screamed through the abyss

when I learned that you were

gone

what will you become

the unknown terrifies me

I avoid it

I'm incurable

real bad shit

art is for the broken

lonely depressed addicts

searching for any kind

of ecstasy

I get it from you

it makes me remember that

I miss you

oh Daddy

why did you need to go

so early

I wish you were

here to see me stop

being a failure

I was at my worst when

you passed

I hope you remember me better

Sacrifice

her lapping tongue withdrew

the beer from the aluminum can

she wobbled toward the victims

soon they would be that

for now

they were just her friends

”Who wants another?!”

half the room cheered

little did they know

their end was here

she had defiled

all of the drinks

and like dominos they fell

America

the smoking chimney

silhouetted against the watercolor sky,

compiled of stone slabs

faced with gold

which were placed

to face the sun at all hours

the lovely figure pours

thick, heavy smog

the glittering below the grey

a juxtaposition, so simple,

so beautiful

Desire

perfect

the word drives me

defines my desire

my unachievable goal

I yearn for control

to grip the reigns of destiny

in my delicate hands

Apart

longing

I ache from missing you

I crave your touch

your stunning face

is singed

in my mind and yet

to see it in flesh

to caress it with

the tips of my fingers

what a blessing

t’would be

if only I could thrust

my face

into your shirt and

inhale your fragrance

I wish I could

remember it

more certainly now

Caricature

she was a caricature

so much misery stored away behind

a sparkly eyed smile

at home

for days at a time

her schedule included

drinking

heavily

and reading Bukowski

by smokey lamplight

killing the ghost of her past

with a fountain pen

when out in this

open yet crowded world

she would strut

confidently

her steady gaze fixed

on the object of her desire

radiant to all she passed

save the ones akin

to her

The Doll

you pulled back the plastic curtain

there was a startling clatter

she was stupefied

your throaty chuckle terrified her

the doll’s crown cracked

a porcelain tile

with her bare flesh against you

the denim of your pants

came to be saturated

as white turned to red

your vision blurred

she barely resisted

in your powerful grasp

echoing in your ears

her outcries of suffering

panic

pleasure

this bloodstained trance

feelings of intimacy and depravity

your hand gripped the doll’s waist

as you kissed her gently

before tossing her aside

Masterpiece

masterpiece

you'll make one

play

because the song is

about her

she with her

beyond kindness

blazing genius

perpetually good

the positive woman paints

the park

the night sky

the running children

she paints it all

and about her you sing

the unbelievable planetary love

the easy life you made

from one idea

her atmosphere

she was something like Hollywood

elusive

mysterious

dazzling from afar

labyrinthine up close

warm and bubbly

she laughed like a twinkling bell

and rested her fingertips

against your skin when

she gazed into your eyes

Owned

not just anybody

was enough

his attention fed her

when he was

away

she would become

listless

dejected and quiet

anxiously awaiting

the return of her keeper

for the validation that she craved

that could come only

from him

and on the days

when it did not come

nothing she knew was real

reality disconnected

his switchblade tongue

was no match

for the venom of

an unfulfilled woman

what demented love it was

Lara

That hairline scar

In your top lip reminds me

Of easier days

When my worries for you

Were based in playgrounds and

Stranger danger

Now when I think of you

I know all too well

To worry about your mind

Your heart and soul

As you grow older

I can see a sadness growing

In your eyes

As it will in every child

And I worry for your spirit

For the creativity that sparks

Within you

For the love that runs through your

Delicate veins

Stronger than most

Smarter than you know

So beautiful

The innocence in you is fading

But don’t let it slip away

Lara II

The rain drips off

Your berry-blonde ringlets

Wispy, black lashes

Covered in the afternoon dew

I watch the mud splash

Up from beneath your sneakers

You laugh as you gallop

Steadily on towards your

Invisible finish line

Eyes wide with exhilaration

You run

Unstoppable

Lover

My master

My lover

He makes me feel strong

While reminding me

That I am fragile

My lover

My life

His kind, soft eyes

Peering out from below

Strong, determined brows

My keeper

My lover

Allows me to fly freely

Somehow keeping me grounded

My lover

Siren

The man with the snaggled teeth

lay there,

face to the pavement,

while she talked.

Goodness could have been

pouring from her lips,

he wouldn’t drink.

He knew

that her words were poison

for him; not one drop.

Listening was

unavoidable, but

the more intelligent could

sometimes

separate listening from hearing.

He wondered

about more peaceful things

while she paced the small

boiler room.

Now,

he watched in silence,

mind busy,

down there

on the floor,

waiting for her siren song to end.

Manifestation

I get what want

Because I make it

I think my desires into realities

Dreams become life

I am pure magic

The more I want it

The more I think about it

The better the outcome

I am pure magic

Purpose

searching for purpose

I grasp at the air

begging Athena be merciful

my frail, ivory fingers

pasted to the keys

to carve out my presence

in the cellophane world

populated by

typewriters and their slaves

Bookstore

this old bookstore had seen

the laughing girl cry

the busy boy yawn

the tired dog run

the angry man smile

every day killers walked in

and sauntered out

unnoticed in the sea of sin

the business was tried now

but people still

slipped through the glass doors

every now and again

not for books

but for secrets

Separated

long distance calls

exchanging whispers of longing

loneliness and sorrow

drink glittering

crushed ice under fluorescent light

curiously

the mirrors hardly shone

the sun felt dim

but the crushed ice

in the tumblr of brandy

below the fluorescent light

oh how it sparkled

as she pressed the cold

plastic telephone

to her ear

wishing for the warmth of his breath

You

you sat down and grimaced

and sucked impatiently at your teeth

pressed against the wall

you seemed less

sinister than usual

the attention you paid was

palpable and heavy

analysis of the enigmatic

always thinking

maybe sinister hadn't been right

maybe something else

conscious

curious

mysterious

incomparable

you looked mournful and dreamy

you almost constantly do

always thinking

my wild sweet sublime creature

Lucid Sexuality

on the oak bench

in the park in her hometown

she clung to his

solid trunk

tiny flowers adorned

her gently waving hair

in the milky darkness

she ran

her fingers through

his thick amber mane

their lips collided

clumsily at first

before reaching understanding

her tongue slipped between

her lips

barely touching his

they began to unwrap

one another

never unlocking their lips

soft youthfulness

battered flesh

quivering arms

throbbing touches

his mouth warned her

and then he slammed into her

what magic

this wonderful movement

the energy

the bright colored passion

with excitement she grabbed

at his waist and felt

her breasts press against his

stubbly cheeks

the scratchy tickle caused her to

blush

she felt him twitch

her thighs touched his waist

her beautiful blonde hair hung

long enough to brush

his knees

one long kiss

after another

her white hands gripped at

his copper skin

for several hours

night became morning as

she saddled his member

when he announced his

eruption

she slowly slid her head down

for a good drink

Dear Self

Dear self,

All that made you beautiful

evaporated as

you fell apart in front of me.

People would not believe how

dark and wretchedly blue

you eventually became;

your veins,

your eyelids,

your lips,

your toes, and

your fingertips.

Bruises decorated your pale

canvas and busted

capillaries cracked your

porcelain skin.

I watched your eyes,

once wide with wonder

and fascination, lose focus

and luster as you stopped

looking up.

I never gave you the love

that you deserved; you

stayed strong, stronger

than me.

The abuse and stress

I put you through, you

tolerated graciously.

You served my dutifully as a

ballerina.

I rewarded you by

starving you

of nutrients

of love

of conditioning.

I didn’t consider you at all;

I violated you, in the

worst of ways.

Everyone's heard that

story by now.

The girl who wasted away.

What about the girl who

conquered?

She who learned

to love herself and to

respect and nurture her temple.

I wish to be she.

I will make you whole again.

-The Spirit Inside You

Yours

you write about fucking

unspeakable foolish dizziness

your treasures

morning relaxation and

evening prayers

such sweet scents hung in the air

the light glittered in

her heavy lidded golden eyes

glowing like candlelight in

the dark night

a kiss that stretched out and

danced

imperceptible thoughts veiled

held back

the way cheerful crimson sunlight

tucks itself away in the treeline

to warn you of the

coming darkness

secrets uttered without meaning

the afternoon dream

her body against your body

she soothingly murmured

just behind your ear

she could tell neither life nor death

scarcely compared to

the bliss of being yours

Lydia II

like sunlight and moonlight

she had woven her words

carefully

showing the exact truth

without uttering a word of it

strange looks shot her way

her indescribable grace

simply belonging with the lightning

unthinkable obscene light

awakens the voice within her

warning that she loses sleep

the mortal soul was locked in the body

pale and strange as the morning sky

her passions animated her sexuality

badly written poetry

lit her spirit afire

intoxicating female sorrow and fear

now to live was like acting

between beer bottles and a mattress

sex and drinking

nothing touched her delicately

struggles with the charming angel

shameless

she opened her temple

for any who seemed special

artistic

inspired

her downfall was man

her failure was her own

Miss You

I can’t wait to tell dad about this!

Oh… right.

I shuffle the gravel

beneath my booted toes and

look to the sky

to speak with him.

Daddy I miss you

ever so badly.

I still hear you whistle,

calling me to you,

but I dare not follow.

It can’t be you.

My steps across the parking lot

crunch, crunch, crunch

like the way he used to eat dry cereal.

Do you remember how annoyed

I would get?

You never closed your mouth to chew.

You always had

too much to say.

An orange leaf floats

past my eyes on it’s journey to the ground.

How few things fall so slowly.

You did,

and we had no choice but to watch.

Everything reminds me of him,

of you, Dad.

Power

the power over me

is yours

although sometimes you have to beg for it

and the second I demand it back

it is mine

the power over me belongs to you

I relinquish control

I hand you the reigns

but you may give it back as soon as

you feel it’s too much

the power truly belongs to both of us

the power is over you as well

you need the power

power over me

in order to have power over yourself

which gives me power over you

round and round it flows

back-and-forth between us

no one is in control unless we both are

Did You?

11 years

that’s a pretty big difference

but I guess an 11 year difference

is irrelevant

once you’re three years past legal

but you didn’t know that I was

did you?

I didn’t have ID in that bar

where you convinced the bartender

to let me drink

where you shoveled alcohol into my face

you had no idea how old I was

did you?

when you got me alone in your truck

after my friends passed out

when you drove me home

fifteen miles for an hour and a half

you had no idea if I were legal

did you?

no I don’t suspect you did

you never really asked

oh you did tell me an awful lot

about yourself

I thought I made a friend see

but you took advantage of me

I may be 21 but I am still

somebody’s daughter

somebody’s sister

and you didn’t even know

did you?

I suspect you didn’t want to know

that way you could hope

in your head

that I wasn’t

and I was just another teenage girl

looking for a thrill

but I wasn’t

I was just looking to chill

I wanted to hang out

and watch some cartoons

not have you do whatever you wanted to do

how could you

you call yourself a man

well I think you’re a mouse

Ever Since You

I hate the feeling of my own bed

ever since you laid in it

I can’t stand being in my own head

ever since you played in it

I see you around every corner

even though you’re never there

The tears make my face warmer

now that I am always scared

I lock the door not once but twice

hoping that you won’t arrive

my hands feel cold as ice

my spirit is barely alive

Broken

I thought I made a friend that night,

but I misplaced my trust.

He couldn’t see reality through

the violet fog of lust

With every drink I guzzle down,

my protests start to fade.

“Don’t dare fall in love with me,”

your voice: a balanced blade.

You pull me in; I push away,

but you don’t seem to care.

When you want something, you’ll have it.

Right then. Right there.

Harm None and Do As Ye Will🌙