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Pterodactyl Stand-Up

Know When You're Out of Your Era

By Judey Kalchik Published about a month ago 1 min read
Pterodactyl Stand-Up
Photo by Arthur Shuraev on Unsplash

"I just flew in from the Cretaceous period... and boy are my arms tired!"

Is this thing working? Is this thing on?

"I tried to get a job as an undercover spy, but they said the wings were too memorable, so (gimme a break!) I couldn't get hired!"

They wouldn't have said it to a mastodon!

~

"I thought this was the circus and I'd ride the {HA!} carn-i-vore!"

I know that you hear me, Hey- yeah you! You blinked!

"You might as well give in- I've got a hundred more!"

Wow! I'm not just dying here- I'm already extinct.

~

"I'm not who you thought I'd be, not one you know best."

Why do they always want to see T Rex?

"But now that I'm here, you wanna pet my crest?"

Between the two of us I've got the most impressive pecs.

~

"Thanks for having me, happy to be here, folks!"

To see me up close they'd need to go to Bavaria.

"I'll work on my routine and get better jokes."

Why am I always left out of the Dino-hysteria?!

~~~

This is a submission for the Vocal Poemosaurus Rex Challenge. Find out more here:

For Funsurreal poetry

About the Creator

Judey Kalchik

It's my time to find and use my voice.

Poetry, short stories, memories, and a lot of things I think and wish I'd known a long time ago.

You can also find me on Medium

And please follow me on Threads, too!

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Comments (21)

  • Paul Stewart20 days ago

    So glad you put this through for the dialogue challenge too!

  • bahahahaha

  • Great entry such a unique creative take! You gave me more than a couple chuckles

  • JBaz29 days ago

    I was laughing so hard at the opening line I had to read this twice. The visuals alone are worth the read

  • Randy Bakerabout a month ago

    When I read things like this, it makes me wish I was more creative. Great take on the challenge theme, Judey. Did you mean for your dinosaur to sound like Rodney Dangerfield, because that's the voice I was hearing in my head?

  • Paul Stewartabout a month ago

    Seeee. I read your haiku and then read this gem. So funny - total dad jokes galore lol! Thank you and well done, Judey...I could envision a Pterodactyl in some back-end comedy club doing a five-min bit. lol.

  • Babs Iversonabout a month ago

    Love your humorous 🦕 poem!!!💕❤️❤️

  • Novel Allenabout a month ago

    I never knew all of the dino names b4. Learning so much has been a hoot. This is like all of us on Vocal, all wanting to be the big cheese. So very like us were the dinosaurs.

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout a month ago

    Hahahahahahahhaha this was so freaking hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Grz Colmabout a month ago

    😄👏 …”boy are my arms tired!" Lolz.

  • Shirley Belkabout a month ago

    So true...we often overlook those prehistoric cranes....all of those creatures tend to freak me out, so I avoid thinking about them. Loved your humor

  • Christy Munsonabout a month ago

    So funny, Judey! "Already extinct." Ha! That's a knee slapper, that is!!

  • This works and you will be laughing when it gets its deserved Top Story

  • Sonia Heidi Unruhabout a month ago

    Made me lol -- and not at the dino-loubge act jokes! By the way, in prepping for this challenge, I was quite surprised to learn that technically pterodactyls are not dinosaurs but flying reptiles. Of course this piece still qualifies (and then some) for the challenge.

  • Kendall Defoe about a month ago

    Tough crowd...makes me understand why species become extinct... 🥁

  • Donna Fox (HKB)about a month ago

    Hahah! Love how cheesy all these were!! Great work here Judey!!

  • What a delightful start to my day 💛! I especially love the interjections… I liked his jokes & much prefer him to Rex!🤩✅

  • Jay Kantorabout a month ago

    ‘j’ - Do you offer Fly-Away airport shuttle bus Car-ni-Vore snacks.. ‘j’

  • Rasma Raistersabout a month ago

    Delightful, loved it!

  • Cathy holmesabout a month ago

    Haha. This is great. What a unique take on the challenge.

  • Z.a.i.n.t.zabout a month ago

    perfect, I love it.

Judey Kalchik Written by Judey Kalchik

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