polysyllabicity

i'm confident. a social butterfly.

my cloud-like silhouette slinks delicately through a sea of lavish patrons pasted together to welcome the new year.

my soft blonde curls bounce with joy and gentle anticipation as i notice my warm collective of friends wave me over. 10…

i have my balmy rose-infused lips pressed against an iridescent champagne coupe as the clock glides closer to midnight. 9, 8, 7…

an unfamiliar hand finds a perch on my bare shoulder. the startled gasp that escapes me brings a faint candy-apple hue to my face. 6, 5, 4…

as i slowly twirl around, my doe eyes attach to a set of dark almond orbs gazing back at me. 3…

he rests his index finger on my chin 2…

and quietly lifts my face to his. 1…

i’m diffident. a forlorn caterpillar.

my dry, skeleton-like fingers sheepishly wave goodbye as the rideshare driver pulls off into the first few hours of the new year.

i begin to feel a sensation similar to the burning of paralytic drugs run through my blood as i force my rigid legs make their way through the doorway.

my previously glistening dress is abandoned abruptly as i use the last of my consciousness to reach the cold, ceramic tiles of my bathroom floor.

i vomit the chunks of anxiety, self-doubt, despair that i felt pulsing inside of me moments before.

dread causes every inch of my body to constrict as i try to reject the silence that is slowly slithering into my ears.

i plead for an ounce of daylight to wrap me in comfort again.