Poetry-Not for Me

I’ve been on Vocal now for over a year and a half. During this time, I’ve noticed a growing trend towards poetry. Maybe I’m old and set in my ways, but that style of writing has never held my attention. Let’s face it, no one in the real world speaks that way.

Think about it. You walk into the garage where your car is being worked on. Your car is up on a lift when suddenly, the mechanic working on it proclaims,

“A wrench, a wrench,

I must go to my toolbox for a wrench.

And perhaps some 3 in 1 oil

To dissolve the rust

And make this less of a toil.”

Would you think, what a clever technician or maybe I need to find a new service shop?

Okay, let’s try a different scenario to see how poetry might fit. The normal back and forth between a controller in an airport control tower and a pilot might sound like this.

Controller, “American 801, wind calm, altimeter 2995, clear for takeoff runway 17 right.”

American pilot, “Roger, tower, cleared 17 right. Have a good day!”

Now for the poetic version.

Controller, “American 801, the wind is now at rest,

So, leaving now would be best

I release you now to start your quest.

Rev your engines, feel their thrust

It’s your skills. Your passengers do trust.”

Pilot, “I hear your words,

You have set me free

Into the sky, I now must flee.

Best wishes to your crew, and to thee.”

Just imagine the delays that would occur at busy airports around the world if speaking like this was the norm. Using poetry in a business setting just isn’t practical. There may be one exception, a doctor’s office.

True, when it comes to understanding medical terms, I’m not the sharpest knife in the draw. The names given to body parts, diseases, and medicines are normally some sort of Latin mashup. Why is it that a science that labels itself as modern is still using a dead language? Is it because doctors like to feel that they’re the smartest one in the room? They could create the same confusion by using poetry. First, we have the normal way.

Doctor, “I’m afraid you have triple A.”

Patient, “So what’s triple A?”

Doctor, “Triple A, stands for Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm.”

Patient, “In English, please, Doc.”

Doctor, “The major artery that runs from your heart through your abdominal cavity has

developed a bubble like a bike tire inner tube.”

Patient, “Oh, now I understand.”

Now let’s examine the same exchange poetically.

Doctor, “Triple A is what you’ve grown

It could cause your death if left alone.”

Patient, “Wow, that sounds serious. Exactly what is it?”

Doctor, “A bubble, a bubble, what else could it be?

I’ve described it in plain English. Why can’t you see?”

I must admit, poetically is more dramatic, but no clearer.

So why am I not a fan of poetry? It lacks clarity for me. I’m not the type of person who wants to sit in a group and discuss what the author is trying to say. It should be clear from the beginning. If it isn’t, maybe it’s time for a rewrite.

Okay, my rant is over. I hope I haven’t offended too many of you. Maybe I got you to laugh once or twice.

I bid you adieu

As I have no more.

I hope you can control your anger

And not smash your computer on the floor.