Poem: Some Days I Don't Want to

Some days I want to breathe,

to let my wings down,

bury my fears in chests made

of gold.

Cause some days I lose feelings for myself and even you.

Yet, I lose all clarity,

all my enjoyment and brightness,

in brown eyes that become

dark.

In the end...

I'm not made

for light and maybe

that's the end of feeling

sunrises on my skin.

Wanting to feel sweet love on my lips.

I just want to tell you

I still love; to remind you

my words and thoughts

are not always my own.

Even when I see you sleep,

hate cannot fulfill me,

nor can it befriend

me.

Our tears always

remind me that humanity

still exists.

My tears become your wine,

a sweet lullaby I cannot taste

on my lips but I still crave

your kisses when my nights turn

cold.

Wishing for something more.

A craving that cannot be described.

A sweet sunlight to love me,

to create me a home inside of

your hug.

Yet, some days become

more tragic than others,

full of blood and worries

Yet still I stay.

Some days I get paranoid,

others I'm in love,

while the rest are days I forget.

Days to hard to swallow.

Turning black and others blue

but in the end I tried to stay

next to you.

Rain pours,

fruit expires,

your presence

disappears.

Wanting to cry tears

I couldn't breathe into

a clear existence.

Instead I grew tears

to drown me into an ocean

with no place for me to taste

its saltiness or it's beauty.

I begin to worry,

that fighting my doubts,

burning my fears,

will drown in concrete

oceans.

Fearing of you cheating,

wavering with the ringing

and lighting of your phone.

Lighting embers in the base

of my heart.

Yet, still I crave a home in your hug.

A place inside that won't die

surround by welted roses of wanted

love and wavered kisses.

Your presence reminds me I am not

alone, this heart is not completely

destroyed but is healing.

Healing in places

I'm not sure I longer want.

However, when I look at you

it still reminds me that

I am still in love.

Just hoping home is still a place within your loving hug.