Phone Home

Swimming in my selection of suitors

Why did I fall in love with

the one who runs?

The one who gives up

as soon as things don't measure up

to his expected outcome

That's the danger of agreeing to

"no expectations"

with someone who needs to control everything

When the going got rough

he got going

He never bothered

to return my calls

or apologize for his oppression

When I have men that will bend over

backwards for me

and stretching isn't even their profession

I over apologized when I shouldn't have

so now I have room to be unapologetic

I refuse to sacrifice myself anymore

than I already did

I admit I wasn't perfect

but who really is?

It's a huge part of this whole human thing

But I'm nothing short of amazing

and my short-comings only define

the areas which I progress

My friends tell me

he is too young

too naive to understand my value

too foolish to understand what he's wasted

But I refuse to believe an age

can determine someone's ability

Ageism is outdated

My friends tell me to let him go

That he's the one who missed out

I agree 1000%

but I'm still somewhat jaded

We met when we were down and out

We had our ups and downs

But I been around the block enough to know

there's something special about

the relationship we created

For that I have no doubts

He left because he was scared

I know the feeling

I've been down that road

When you don't love yourself

it's hard to accept love from someone else

When you don't trust yourself

it's hard to build trust with anyone else

He left and turned into a ghost

Wandering

the hallways of the unknown

Stuck alone in purgatory

and can't make it home

I've got a home

everywhere I go

It's inside my bones

Nectar of blood in my veins

My presence is nothing short

of heavens gates

I love my own company

but I miss the way his voice

interrupted the dial tone

Maybe one day he'll phone home

Maybe I'll have a different number by then

Maybe one day he'll phone home

Maybe I'll have someone else stable by then