Pantoum for First Pairing

(For my Jo - 06/03/22)

-----

There never is a time to lose your heart,

And loneliness had tempered me anew

So many mis-aimed chances let depart

Lost phosphorescence in a placid blue

*

And loneliness had tempered me anew

The break-up fury now long-since forgot

Lost phosphorescence in a placid blue

In drunken haze forgetting Why or What

*

The break-up fury now long-since forgot

With eagerness to taste life while it's fresh

In drunken haze forgetting why or what

I gorged myself on all sins of the flesh.

*

With eagerness to taste life while it's fresh

My whoring reached a ne'er before seen scale

I gorged myself on all sins of the flesh

The buffet fare increasingly grown stale

*

My whoring reached a ne'er before seen scale

Damp features melded, sweaty in the night

The buffet fare increasingly grown stale

A vampire soul that shunned self-mirror's sight

*

Damp features melded, sweaty in the night

Through pinprick eyes that glared spite back at me

A vampire soul that shunned self-mirror's sight

The Hogarth paintings spoke my eulogy.

*

With pinprick eyes that glared spite back at me,

I bluffed a smile to cover feelings torn

The Hogarth paintings spoke my eulogy

Though to the world at large I was reborn.

*

I bluffed a smile to cover feelings torn,

Society with friends I courted well,

Though to the world at large I was reborn,

But wandering in the night-lands still I'd dwell.

*

Society with friends I courted well,

Faked fun at first, that soon came genuine

But wandering in the night-lands still I'd dwell,

On how to really live this life of mine.

*

Faked fun at first, that soon came genuine,

One night in town, I chatted with a friend,

On how to really live this life of mine,

She said the trick was never to pretend.

*

One night in town, I chatted with a friend,

Myfanwy who had helped me look at flats,

She said the trick was never to pretend,

(She is the queen of beer-and-giggle chats)

*

Myfanwy who had helped me look at flats,

Restored of smiles, rekindled and new-hoped,

She IS the queen of beer-and-giggle chats,

Bid me adieu, as homeward bound I loped.

*

Restored of smiles, rekindled and new-hoped.

The frozen night with smells of frost and rain,

Bid me adieu, as homeward bound I loped,

Whistling through the streets to catch my train.

*

The frozen night with smells of frost and rain,

A silent platform, timeless and moon-kissed,

Whistling through the streets to catch my train,

I daydreamed and the schedule I had missed.

*

A silent platform, timeless and moon-kissed,

By orange lamps, my new hope shone the brightest

I daydreamed and the schedule I had missed,

But truth be told I cared not in the slightest.

*

By orange lamps, my new hope shone the brightest

My life a mess, and full of dull travails

But truth be told I cared not in the slightest,

The silence rent with screech of frozen rails.

*

My life a mess, and full of dull travails,

I found that I had come alive once more,

The silence rent with screech of frozen rails,

And smiling now, I hurried through the doors.

*

I found that I had come alive once more,

Prepared to take my chance with something new.

And smiling now, I hurried through the doors,

I fell into my seat across from you.

*

Prepared to take my chance with something new,

And unaware that Fate loves to surprise,

I fell into my seat across from you,

To be transfixed in whole by witchcraft eyes.

*

And unaware that Fate loves to surprise,

And new-resolved to join again life's dance,

To be transfixed in whole by witchcraft eyes,

Meant this poor fucker didn't stand a chance.

*

And new-resolved to join again life's dance,

Perhaps you knew that playing with life's Fate,

Meant this poor fucker never stood a chance

In silent carriage, with the hour so late.

*

Perhaps you knew that playing with life's Fate,

And courting intrigue with the midnight ghosts

In silent carriage with the hour so late,

Could disarm me from any quick riposte?

*

And courting intrigue with the midnight ghosts,

I fell bewitched, insensible that you,

Could disarm me from any quick riposte,

To take me by the hand to pathways new.

*

I fell bewitched, insensible that you,

In standing now to leave, dissolving chance,

To take me by the hand to pathways new,

Could leave me broken-hearted with a glance.

*

In standing now to leave, dissolving chance,

I wondered that our meeting cut so deep,

Could leave me broken-hearted with a glance,

And I just newly-surfaced from the deep.

*

I wondered that our meeting cut so deep.

I vowed to follow that which Fate intends.

And I just newly-surfaced from the deep!

You handed me your card to make amends,

*

I vowed to follow that which Fate intends,

And ever-after ponder all my life,

You handed me your card to make amends,

And later gave your hand to be my wife.

*

And ever after ponder all my life,

Fate's stare became a smile, became a kiss,

And later gave your hand to be my wife,

That old life gone, and never will I miss.

*

Fate's stare became a smile, became a kiss,

There never is a time to lose your heart,

That old life gone, and never will I miss,

So many mis-aimed chances let depart.

——————

(This was written as part of a duel with Dane BH where we both agreed to write a complex poem using repitition of form. This Pantoum is my response. The Pantoum is a devilish poetic form, and the author shall be taking a small break to live in a padded cell until he can escape the logic-loop this challenge created in his brain)