Pandora’s Box

My mind

It cycles rapidly

Apathy invading every crevice

So nothingness is standing in the way of happiness

And it's this very sentiment

This scary sentiment

That I fear if I shared

They'd all laugh at me

So I bask in the emptiness

Adamant every eve

I pray for some feelings to slither in like a basilisk

They say your depression

Is a momentary sadness that'll pass

But it won't

And it doesn't matter

That this metaphorical hand

Is wrapped around your neck

And you're gasping

But nothing drastic has happened

So it must all be imagined

It's too hard to justify why one moment you're laughing

And the next moment your crashing

No drive

So to fake it you drown yourself in gin

And when that gets low gas it

Dramatic

They whisper

Back at it they mumble

But they don't really want answers

I know

We just can't put together words like

Sharp

Beautiful

A delight

Fantastic

Charismatic

Oh by the way a touch of crushing sadness

I swear it's fucking madness

But they call us crazy

Maybe we're just not clear

"Maybe they're just not here"

I overhear in conversations

The same people who promised they'd always be around

And I feel the anxiety creeping back up

Setting me on edge

No wonder why my circle constantly feels like it's degrading

I've been around squares

Leaving me feeling wrecked n tangled

But it makes sense that the four corners of my brain

Keep me trapped inside

And I bet

There are people who think I'm talking about triangles

Look I feel buried alive

And sometimes

I feel like I'm surrounded by people holding shovels

Watching me struggle

So suicide ain't a thing

you prepared me to die

And you can save your comments

I know the common responses

It's funny the only response is responsibility

Until they find you unresponsive

Then their response is "it should've been me"

Sanity is not something I envy

Hollow triangles

Empty pyramids

But this isn't about you

This is for all of my imperfect circles

A bunch of screams inside Pandora's box