Pancake (verb) -

my mother is talking & talking & the café is humming & something smells like strawberries & honey & I think it’s the waitress & she’s speaking & I open my mouth & almost forget how to form pancake/all I can conjure is brown & smooth & warm & sweet in my mouth & how can I look my mother in the eye & nod & laugh & pretend like pancake is not the casualty of yr hands & act like yr hands never turned me over wild & waiting for hungry lips & made molasses of my spine last night & it was only last night & now it’s breakfast & she has no idea/I sit cross-legged proper lady/like my knees were never river-wide & wanting & like yr knees are unknowable to me & I am almost proud of myself/I am nothing short of masterful /sitting here/modest & behaving like I can’t feel you thrumming through the seat of my chair/sitting here & sipping tea & adding sugar & stirring & stirring & my fingers tire/but remember how my fingers split you clean apart & remember how morning arrived on our backs & in-between our together & too soon & is there a word for that/for the lift and separate of griddle bones to let the slow syrup spill spread sticky limbs into all that brown & smooth & warm & sweet & if so I’ve never heard it/or else it would sound something like a shutting door & a jangle of keys & a café’s hum/or else it would smell something like strawberries & honey/or else it would look something like good girl hemline & a sip of tea & a smile at a waitress & a glance at my mother who is talking & talking & talking & talking & my tongue somewhere else entirely.