On the nature of
The immeasurable

A beloved friend of mine asked me to write her a poem to help her better articulate a rapid mental health decline; her return to a frightening life in the dreaded wilderness.
A chance to view through the eyes of another.
Then perhaps gain more insight and even understanding?
Perhaps if that was indeed possible?
Could it help her to accept the fallout of her life now broken?
Perhaps one day to heal?
To experience peace?
Naturally I willingly agreed.
But then, I too became acutely unwell and never wrote her poem, as was promised.
My poem, dedicated to her, is below.
*
Sometimes at our lowest we need rest, care and acknowledgement.
Our suffering and distress is hard for some to fathom.
Even by those most dear to us.
Are they doubtful or frightened by the immeasurable?
My dear friend’s suffering and distress manifests as profound grief, guilt and misery.
Misery caused by trauma.
She has fallen into great and unremitting pain.
Beyond hurt, melancholy or worriment; torture and torment.
Afflicted by a wretchedness that threatens her spirit.
However, I see a woman of courage and strength.
Faultless.
Will she get through this?
Yes.
Why?
Because her name is Hannah.
My beloved ‘palindrome.’
‘It’s here in all the pieces of my shame
That now I find myself again.
I yearn to belong to something, to be contained
In an all-embracing mind that sees me …’
Rainer Maria Rilke (1875 - 1926.)
*
If you too have dwelled in the dreaded wilderness; traumatised and alone by the immeasurable.
Perhaps an opportunity for hope,
We are both well to the best of our capacity now. Experiencing acceptance and peace.
Achieving, in ways measurable to us with unyielding gratitude.
Me?
I’ve returned to Vocal+ after an extended hiatus and I’m writing again!
The genuine interactions with other creatives fills me with joy in even the darkest times. The reads, hearts and Subscriptions! The comments, to and fro.
I would like to make a special mention. I sincerely thank the impact of the the ‘Vocal + Assist’ Facebook Group. I hope those within the group understand my deep and abiding gratitude for your support.
Alone no more I am rediscovering myself in an online sphere of the like minded.
Pauline Fountain. © 2023. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be used or reproduced without the written permission of the author.
About the Creator
Pauline Fountain
Writing and photography provide a creative outlet to reflect with meaning on my life.
My mental health? Bipolar 1 (Rapid Cycling), Complex PTSD and Functional Neurological Disorder.
My son’s gentle wisdom furnishes me with the gift of hope.
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