on the moon

I wish to be on the moon

not for the view (although I am sure it is stunning),

not for the refreshments (I heard the iced tea is fantastic),

not even just to say I’ve been on the moon (it’s great for college applications)

I want to go to escape the maddening noise

I want to go for the silence

The heartbreaking, breathtaking, shattering silence

Not love or hate could scream louder than the nothing

Not mountains or oceans could answer my questions like the infinite

Not war or peace could crumble my world like the void

And not life or death could hold me the way that it does

I wish to be on the moon

For there I am not confined to my skin and bones

There I am not perceived

With no expectation to smile or talk

And my thoughts are not caged by my skeleton

The worthiness and quality of my life is not up for question

For it is none

On our finite moon in the infinite universe

I am only existing

Understand now that when you catch me gazing up at the sky

with a straying, longing look in my eyes

I am not looking at the bright sparkling stars,

I am looking at the space between them.