Ode to the Dairy-Free Vanilla Ice Cream Cone at Disney World

Let's walk down memory lane, shall we?

A dairy allergy in the '90s

was a little risky

and utter misery.

Pizza parties

ice cream parties

Chuck E. Cheese, mac n' cheese,

Dairy Queen, Halloween -

a mockery.

The 'ol McFlurry Machine never worked

for me, oh no,

Jell-o was the height of luxury.

*

In kindergarten I sat at a "special" table (read:

"alone")

away from kids who threw string cheese at me to see if I'd

"explode"

in quarantine decades before ya in 2020

what wonders that worked on my psyche.

For an allergy test, they gave me one (1) Hershey's Kiss

a kiss of death I wheezed, heaved, and hurled.

On bloodwork tests, the extremity of my reaction

on a spectrum scale of green to red

came back in black

& someone said my blood did explode in the petri dish.

One has to admire the vehemence

and admit the string cheese kids were right.

*

New game just dropped: does this have dairy or not?

Tostitos Hint of Lime tortilla chips: do

Oreos (even the unhinged flavors): don't

about half the Pop-Tarts (the good flavors): do

Skippy Peanut Butter Pretzel Bites: do

but pretzels and Skippy are dairy-free?

Confusing.

Oh, and most brands of Plan B

have trace amounts of dairy

and that little trace is enough for me.

Ah, the threatening ambiguity:

May contain dairy.

*

So, this is an ode

to the Tofutti vanilla ice cream cone

that I was able to order on a high school trip to Disney World

and walk around licking, the sweetness dripping

sticky in my fingers in the unforgiving Floridian sun

while I tried my best to keep it together

and just be normal

when I had waited my whole life

to be this normal.

My first non-dairy ice cream cone,

I will never forget you.

This is an ode to

my excitement

in which I think I forgot

to order anything extra

like sprinkles or a cherry on top

because three scoops of vanilla was more than expected

because you arrived as a surprise, which is sacred.

This is an ode to

Maya Angelou

who sagely said,

"Have enough courage to trust love

one more time

and always one more time."

That is how I asked for you

in as small a voice as I could manage

a voice used to tempered expectations

holding back tears

not to be weird!

doubting if it could be real this time

but trusting it could be real this time

and this time

you were mine

and you were joy,

which is sweetness overflowing.

This is an ode to the joy you gave me

cue Beethoven's choral Ninth Symphony:

This is an ode

to having an unwished-for wish fulfilled

to being granted a gift unlooked-for

to having an unhoped-for hope revealed

to simultaneously feeling

so ordinary and so special

to inclusion and innovation,

which is a magical miracle.

*

When that vanilla ice cream cone

got an upgrade by our saviors Ben & Jerry's a few years later -

P.B. & Cookies with the bits of sandwich cookie in the center -

I did cry.

Right there in my boyfriend's Washington D.C. apartment kitchen

holding a spoonful of the most amazing thing I'd ever tasted

remembering the flavor of joy, remembering the afternoon

when three scoops of vanilla, no sprinkles, no cherry

was the new height of luxury

when I got to be, a little late,

a little kid again