october five is novemeber one

it sure is fall now

crisp air and leaves on the ground

i will wear more clothes

. . . [10/29/23]

. . .

little creaks and taps

outside telling us it's there

california cold

[los angeles]

. . . [10/29/23]

. . .

vibrations through ground

is there a party o'er there

it's always or seems

. . . [10/30/23]

. . .

ok - here's monday

isn't it a trip, all this

we just go and go

. . . [10/30/23]

. . .

there's the sun and the moon

just right there - we can see them

then we go to work

. . . [10/30/23]

. . .

he's landed away

my night his day, day his night

what's he doing now

. . . [10/31/23]

. . .

i've just made my tea

as you probably supper

see you in some days

. . . [10/31/23]

. . .

flatness with no you

air and space and time are changed

i just like you 'round

. . . [10/31/23]

. . .

and so it's nighttime

it's rare that i speak of it

funny how we pick

. . . [10/31/23]

. . .

we are all allowed

to walk wherever we want

just choose carefully

. . . [10/31/23]

. . .

lies and hopes - wishes

how am i really living

how can i be sure

. . . [11/1/23]

. . .

two months left this year

it really feels like the end

but just of the year

. . . [11/1/23]

. . .

i'll talk to someone

i'll talk to someone today

let's start a new phase

. . . [11/1/23]

. . .

try something new first

this just occurred to me now

write down what you want

. . . [11/1/23]

. . .

what you want from this

what do you wish could happen?

i wish for lightness

. . . [11/1/23]

. . .

flatened, all day flat

where am i, where am i now

it won't last for long

. . . [11/2/23]

. . .

when i drink it's worse

i know this - don't need more proof

so let's feel better

. . . [11/2/23]

. . .

i just want to be

without all of those guidelines

well that's just too bad

. . . [11/2/23]

. . .

so i sit here now

mostly knowing why like this

it goes way way back

. . . [11/2/23]

. . .

i do meditate

i do try to heal myself

time to do some more

. . . [11/3/23]

. . .

ok - let's friday

let's have a good one then go

let's be better now

. . . [11/3/23]

. . .

thinking diff'rently

that will be the key for me

the learning is hard

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

but i know that's it

funny you can know - but can't

but can't is not real

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

just get through some days

a sort of detox will help

and your mind will clear

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

experimenting

we're all doing that with self

this is the next one

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

breeze across my neck

i don't mind the hairs this time

it's just very nice

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

this "no work" quiet

is such a nice way to start

sit with it for now

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

what if there's nothing

what if there's nothing to change

that's impossible

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

what are they doing

just all being together

it's good just for that

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

i dissociate

this might be a form of that

i'm just wond'ring that

.............[realizing]

[i think it's helping]

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

it's kind of crazy

to sit and read with you there

this ocean - so great

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

that we don't just stare

says something of how we be

oceans are bonkers

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

oceans be like we

they just are and we just are

maybe we're the same

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

look at all us here

and you wherever you are

this is just what is

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

but you'll do something

and i'll do something else too

and that is just it

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

we can't stare that long

it would be too much for us

survival kicks in

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

we would get absorbed

and probably disappear

so we snap back here

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

every step brings next

it can't help but bring the truth

unless you just stop

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

choose to stop or don't

it's the committing that counts

it's what makes it work

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

drinking like smoking

no good for me anymore

how about for you

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

it makes me feel worse

for longer and longer and

and i'd rather not

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

give up one for all

rather than give all for one

that's what i'm finding

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

at least give a try

even though it is a known

have to trick the brain

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

it could be worse see

but i am in the middle

and that might be worse

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

if i can know that

and if i can remember

then i'll be just fine

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

and so can you be

let's remember together

and let's free ourselves

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

it really is this.

a bit of this and of that

next stop is freedom

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

we poison ourselves

to feel diff'rently than this

we need to feel this

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

then we can make moves

then we can move any way

we can even stop

. . . [11/4/23]

. . .

. . .

we're all doing it - "our" ways -- we keep moving because we have to so decisions as we go. some we like, some we don't. some we probably don't even realized we made. trying this and trying that and being and living. what a thing this all is.

i saw a quote yesterday, from that writer, speaker and "philosophical entertainer" alan watts, "the meaning of life is just to be alive. it is so plain and so obvious and so simple. and yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves." -- i like it. the shame is we're not all allowed to do that - so nice idea. i'll keep trying. and maybe help some others do the same along the way.

thanks for reading! i hope you have a good day -- kory