Nowhere...

Smiles and back rubs.

Kisses and soft hugs.

Those are the things that determine the shape of my love.

Forbidden looks

And fingers touching between the books.

A graze here and there,

Hands entangled through the hair.

The thrill of new love.

Excitement in a world our ancestors would dream of

And yet,

Where am I when the flags have flown?

When the confetti is all thrown?

When the cheers and gayness fade,

Where is admission for the ticket I paid?

Life moves on as if my favorite moments were never there

And I witness as the memories fade with time

And time is all that remembers that I laid bare

My love, my vulnerability, my heart, open like a gaping wound exposed to the harsh air,

Bleeding out deep red in the light of the moon.

The salve offered to me to act as a boon,

But do I want to let it go?

The pain is all that I know,

All that can help me remember how my blood flows

When I'm with you.

Please accept my apology.

I don't know where I am when you're not with me,

You helped me understand who I am.

I didn't know before, but I'm beginning to understand,

Please, I don't know where to go.

Where I am now, you must know,

I feel alone.

Stranded on an island by myself.

It's been a long time, then you came along and it helped

So much.

I understand I have to move on.

I'll try, but before you leave, hear me once.

Thank you. I love you.

I don't know where I'm going, but if not for you I would be going nowhere at all.

Now I have a destination.

I'll find my way back to you.