Not 100% Girl

Bringing me into a world that has forgotten

What once was created a lone being;

A guardian for the world;

A duality by itself;

Surviving without companionship for Millenia;

My mother knew, did she not?

She prepared everything in blue,

Expecting a boy.

Instead, I was born.

A girl…?

Am I…?

Did I not develop enough to be a boy?

*

I was celebrated.

A soul being born;

Taking physical form as a girl.

I was the oldest;

Given the name of the highest among all girls;

A goddess.

But goddesses don’t wear blue.

And I love blue.

Intensely.

Did my mother feel it?

I would wear blue every day;

Surround myself with it in every way.

*

I’ve never liked pink except on a Lotus or Rose.

Never on a dress I was given to wear.

I would change those divine flowers to blue if I could.

But I cannot change myself.

I like being a girl.

Even as a woman…older now than my mother

When I was born,

Deep inside…I am a girl.

Except on days when a childhood thought seeps through;

I should have been a boy.

And on the days when I feel the duality.

I am not 100% girl.

~~~