No Longer Feels Right

I just keep thinking if I say it out loud enough times,

that I will convince myself into it,

convince myself to see past the fear,

and see my own possibility again,

instead of graveling into a decision,

But I stand here in a fog,

a fog of my own confusion,

A fog of this illusion I built in my mind,

a decision that is continuing to make me blind,

from the happiness that I could have,

I know what my answer is,

I am the guard of my own expectations,

I won't allow a decision, to give myself an explanation,

I so clearly need to see,

the fear comes from my own breed,

with the desire and need to succeed,

build and protected under stability,

and the outcome is from the unknown,

I am afraid to not know where to go,

to lose this dream,

I used to see, so clearly,

It is now disappearing right in front of me,

as each minute passes, I am closer to tomorrow,

I want to run the other way, no show,

pretend I don't have to go,

Because that means I have to face the day,

the day where I give up a dream,

a day, where my path is no longer clearly seen,

a free fall, of me not knowing where I am supposed to be,

my safety net has been created to catch me,

but where will I land on my feet,

where am I supposed to walk too?

a life path with a new pair of shoes,

an outline I have never drew,

A time in my life that completely new,

I have always had a path,

where I wanted to land at,

and now I don't,

and no phone call can make that choice for me,

I know what I need to be able to breathe again,

I know I am not a tree,

I can fly around just like the leaves,

and find a place that I desire to see a dream,

But that starts with one decision,

that starts tomorrow,

one decision to clear the fog,

so let me see again,

to not be clouded by indecision,

and see the possibility of life,

and not just what I don't like,

and what no longer feels right!