When the clouds rolled in
over mountain tops and lush hills
I forgot myself
or rather, I forgot whom I wished to be.
When the clouds rolled in
covering sun and blue sky,
smiting my smile,
I gave lust a try.
In the fog and in the night
in the cobbled alleys between foreign lives
I walked with you under streetlights
following an ancient vice of mine.
You didn’t sweep me off my feet,
but I wished you would try.
You glanced at me with conceited eyes,
I invited you inside
where the rain pattered on the window
as a reminder of the clouds
that covered my good sense,
and excused my poor decisions.
Whatever gentleness could be found in the night
was drowned by our sin
as I seethed and screamed,
“gently, softly, tenderly.”
You did not understand beyond the barriers of foreign words,
My need to be loved slowly,
Desired completely,
Adored sweetly.
“No Capito”
The honest words you say to me.
When you left,
inflated with a prideful sense
of success after conquest
I was alone on the tainted mattress.
The room that my anger had filled
smelled of firewood, cum, and disdain.
clouds over mountains
hid me from God’s grace,
smothered my beliefs.
I took my fears in my own hands.
I didn’t feel shame
but guilt was waiting, expectantly,
for me to meet him and confess:
I am, admittedly,
an imperfect sinner
a shadow of who I was
and who I could have been
before the clouds rolled over me.
About the Creator
Caitlin Rose
20 something Canadian, musician, poet, artist. Craving inspiration, solidarity, and sanity.
Comments (1)
Wow Caitlin, this is full of emotions that we can’t help but feel as we read your words.