Nights Are the Hardest

Nights are the hardest.

A light drizzle of thoughts initiates a storm and soon

my mind is

flooded with the memories.

I keep my eyes open

so that I can distinguish the thoughts from reality.

His mind can never understand but

the way he holds me

feels like his body does.

I didn't think I'd ever fall in love.

I didn't think I'd ever want to.

Bit then he came into my life and

everything got so...

confused...

The scariest part wasn't the falling.

Falling was easy.

Falling made sense.

The scariest part is that

I don't want to get back up.

The scariest part is

wondering if every time we

say goodbye is the last.

It's hating myself every time I make a mistake because

I can't lose him.

The scariest part is knowing he can't possibly love me

as much as I love him. And

feeling like I don't deserve love so

when is it going to be

stripped away from me? And

wondering when he'll

leave.

The way he looks at me.

His eyes.

Beautiful deep brown

framed with long dark lashes.

They're so warm they freeze time.

The way he smiles.

Pink lips stretch across

his teeth.

It's like he's smiling just for me.

The curve of his back

when he lays next to me.

I just want to trace every line with my

fingertips.

The sound of his voice.

Every word feels like a

separate kiss

just too far away to grasp.

The shape of his arms.

Strong enough to protect me.

I never used to want protection. But

the way he wraps his arms around me...

It's the only thing in the

world that makes me feel safe.

The way he touches me.

Like I'm a princess.

Every time it feels like

the first time I've ever been touched.

The way his sweat glistens

on his skin after

our love.

Like morning dew

on a delicate flower.

The sound of his laugh

makes me believe

he was sent by God's

angels.

And I don't know why he was sent to me.

What did I do to deserve him?