My World, My Emergence

my world is fluid

warm, smooth

like milk

the God, the other part of me

She eats something strong

I taste the tang of it

in my tight, silky ocean

*

my world is loud

our blood thunders

my other heart thudding above me

reverberating through my soles

my soul

I hear her voice

so close

yet an ocean away

the thrumming thread

that holds my world together

*

my world is Her

I feel Her

She is with me always

I feel Her heat

Her heartbeat

at my feet

my sleep is in the sway of each step

She speaks to me

I know her touch

muted by red-black walls

but unmistakeable

wait - another's hand

I freeze

I hear disappointed murmurs

*

my world is dark

I feel, rather than see

there are occasional bright lights

*

my world changes

the tremors increase

I hear Her call out

to me?

I'm coming

*

my world shrinks

a squeezing pulse

to match Her cries

never has She hugged me so tightly

and never will again

*

my world is on a precipice

alien sensation at the top of my head

it feels cool?

dry? air.

Her hand greets me

unmuted for the first time

joy

I am coming

silk threads pour from my nose and mouth

Her fingers gently find my ear, my face

I am coming!

*

I am here!

my world is new

scary

cold

bright

loud

hard

weird

empty

I reach for Her

arms flung out

air rushing through my nose

my voice tearing from my throat

I burn with the ferocity of it all

Her arms around me

safe now

thudthudthud

I know this

this heat

heartbeat

smell

Hers

ours

home

milk

a touch of the ocean

my ocean, my home

this is old as time

and as familiar

I am here

I am home

I am hungry

*

my world is scratchy

violently coloured

damp

sore

strange

wide

but She

an island of rightness

a little piece of silk

wrapped around me

a sigh

of what the world is supposed to be

*

*

*

*

*

Thank you for reading! Please leave me a comment and tell me what you think.

Fun Fact

Did you know that today, (5th May) is the International Day of the Midwife?

Inspiration

I was inspired to write this by Frederick Leboyer's book, "Birth Without Violence". Leboyer was a revolutionary voice during the '70s. At the time, in the birth room, babies were hardly considered people at all. Their feelings, their experience - it didn't matter. He encouraged us all to empathise with neonates. Huge strides were made in the improvement of maternity care, in great part thanks to his insight. I firmly believe that hat work has to continue!

The Importance of the Mother-Baby

In my opinion, the worst thing you can do to a motherbaby is to separate them. At the point of birth, they are hardly two people at all, and certainly not from the perspective of the newborn infant. The situation must be truly dire for mum or baby to consider parting them, and then every effort must be made to reunite them as soon as it is possible to do that safely.

The Baby's Perspective

It's also important for new parents to really soak in this perspective prior to their baby's arrival. This helps them manage their expectations and understand their baby's behaviour. It supports them to parent responsively and ignore outdated advice to "cry it out" or you'll "make a rod for your own back". It gives them insight into how to calm their baby when he or she is distressed. When we take a moment to pause and think, what is it like for the baby? what does the baby feel? we are more patient, more loving. We are reassured that we are normal, and our baby is normal. This is just hard - for them and for us - but it will pass. We're also emboldened to cwtch our babies as much as they need, or as much as we want - we know in our bones that it doesn't "spoil" them. It meets their profound need for human contact, and a sense of safety.