My Sadness

My sadness is immense and lonely and it

reaches out with great, gentle hands across

oceans and fields

huge landscapes

and it encompasses it all so easily

My sadness is pure and true and it

kisses me so kindly with its

beer flavoured lips

and I think of my grandparents

and I think of the hospital and the call and

my loneliness

which lay splayed

crucified on a Portuguese Hillside as the

ants walked by

My tears were rainfall in that desert and I

swam as if it were a new invention

O show me why

I am so teary eyed

I am begging for your acceptance

For my attempts to be there are futile

we are all alone when the time comes

Guide me Moses I want to be

free

I want to wake with the Red Sea as my walls and

your lord as my protector

But my sadness is endless

My sadness is benevolent and hateful and

holy

for my sadness is the only place to direct my prayers

to which it answers as ever with its presence

like the almighty God I have made it to be