my right side

i cannot be sure whether it is selfish, to need you like i do. i cannot be sure whether it is a sign of weakness, or hubris, or arrogance, the way i cling to you like strings of peach flesh holding valiantly to the grooves of the pit.

i have no way of knowing what it makes me, because i have only ever known me through you.

you will not call me selfish. i do not know if this is a kindness or a selfishness of your own. perhaps it is only the truth.

i wonder, sometimes, how far you would go to protect me from myself. if i am proud, how vehemently you will believe in me. if i am faltering, how steadfastly you will fortify me.

we are not the same, but everything i see and know is filtered through you. your world is golden, glowing, glorious. your world is boundless, and my world is you.

you move like cool water against my skin, chilling my fever and calming my nerves. you are fluid and present and real enough to see my reflection in, to see sunlight shining from your surface.

you blind me. you bind me. i cannot exist but where you are, i cannot travel but where you go. if this is selfishness, let me be selfish. if this is weakness, let me be weak. i must be what you are not.

i do not believe it can be wrong to love another as i love you, to need another as i need you. i do not believe it can be avoided. it is only nature that draws me to you - the natural brilliance of your skin, the natural mystery of your eyes, the natural wonder of your mind.

if i am selfish, then the bee is selfish for seeking out the flower; the flower is selfish for striving toward the sun; the sun is selfish for burning in the sky.

let me be selfish, then, let me seek you out, strive toward you, burn for you. let me take you in, in all my weakness, let me drink my fill until the nectar of you runs down my chin.

let me be gluttonous, covetous, prideful, for you and you alone.